So, for the past couple of years, I have been absolutely obsessed with food and dieting and losing weight. It's terrible. All my mind thinks about is food. And then based on whatever choices I make from there on, my mind is riddled with guilt (if it was something bad) or consumed with thoughts of what I can eventually eat (if it was something good for me).
It's exhausting and depressing and it's a no win situation. I've been here before in my life. Many times, sadly. And I know The KoB and all my friends are sick of hearing me say... ok... THIS IS IT. MONDAY, I'm starting XYZ diet. And that lasts about a week and then I'm right back at square one.
I am SO OVER it. I just want to FEEL good again. I want to feel well rested when I wake up in the morning, I want to feel light on my feet as I go through my day. I want to have healthy BMs and not be so bloated and feel so gross all the time. I want my brain to be clear and less foggy. Basically, I want to be how I was back in 2012-2013.
After 32-33 years of constantly worrying about my weight and obsessing over food, I was finally at a place where I felt fantastic, was the lightest weight I'd ever been, and most importantly, I was (mostly) mentally clear of the food obsession that had always dominated my life. It was a glorious time and that's where I want to go back to.
So, for the next 5 days, I'm going to try to reset my brain back to that time. (I realize 5 days isn't enough, but it's a good start). I'm going to try to mimic how I was eating back then and see if I can't get to that mental peace and healthy feeling.
And even though it's DIRECTLY opposed to my main goal (because I think it just encourages the food obsession), I know I need the accountability for this first week, so, I'm going to document it everyday this week here on the blog.
If you've had or have a food disorder or any food obsession problems, please, skip this blog for the rest of the week. Come back next week for our regularly programmed animal gifs and rants.
Another disclaimer, with the upcoming posts, I am not advocating or suggesting that anyone else do this. I just know that this has worked for me in the past and I'm tapping into that for my guidance on my nutrition. Everyone is different and what works for me, may not work for you. Blah blah blah.
Okay, here go!