run, rest, eat, bitch, buy things, cross-train, blog, repeat.

Monday, April 11, 2016

5 Day Reset

So, for the past couple of years, I have been absolutely obsessed with food and dieting and losing weight. It's terrible. All my mind thinks about is food. And then based on whatever choices I make from there on, my mind is riddled with guilt (if it was something bad) or consumed with thoughts of what I can eventually eat (if it was something good for me).

It's exhausting and depressing and it's a no win situation. I've been here before in my life. Many times, sadly. And I know The KoB and all my friends are sick of hearing me say... ok... THIS IS IT. MONDAY, I'm starting XYZ diet. And that lasts about a week and then I'm right back at square one.

I am SO OVER it. I just want to FEEL good again. I want to feel well rested when I wake up in the morning, I want to feel light on my feet as I go through my day. I want to have healthy BMs and not be so bloated and feel so gross all the time. I want my brain to be clear and less foggy. Basically, I want to be how I was back in 2012-2013.

After 32-33 years of constantly worrying about my weight and obsessing over food, I was finally at a place where I felt fantastic, was the lightest weight I'd ever been, and most importantly, I was (mostly) mentally clear of the food obsession that had always dominated my life. It was a glorious time and that's where I want to go back to.

So, for the next 5 days, I'm going to try to reset my brain back to that time. (I realize 5 days isn't enough, but it's a good start). I'm going to try to mimic how I was eating back then and see if I can't get to that mental peace and healthy feeling.

And even though it's DIRECTLY opposed to my main goal (because I think it just encourages the food obsession), I know I need the accountability for this first week, so, I'm going to document it everyday this week here on the blog.

If you've had or have a food disorder or any food obsession problems, please, skip this blog for the rest of the week. Come back next week for our regularly programmed animal gifs and rants.

Another disclaimer, with the upcoming posts, I am not advocating or suggesting that anyone else do this. I just know that this has worked for me in the past and I'm tapping into that for my guidance on my nutrition. Everyone is different and what works for me, may not work for you. Blah blah blah.

Okay, here go!


Carina said...

Good luck! Getting back to fall 2013 is my goal as well. Sadly, I've made significant progress in the last 48 hours, but due to food poisoning. I've lost about 7 gallons of fluid in the last 24 hours alone I think. Miserable. Working from home and resting today, thinking the worst of it is over. I decided the scale was the silver lining, even though I know those pounds will be back when I'm rehydrated. Haven't come up with a good plan to get me back where I feel good though.

Dolly said...

Yeah. I feel your pain. I lost weight (via stress last fall/winter) and I hoped it would help my running performance. Instead, I felt rundown, and I didn't have as much power in my workouts. I'm short but I've always been at the higher end of healthy BMI range (overweight is only 2 more pounds Fuck the BMI chart), so even when I was at my lightest I wasn't underweight or anything... So I ended up putting back on about 5-7 lbs fairly quickly and now I feel great running wise. But, that number on the scale keeps fucking with my head.... I wish I weren't so vain because I feel great. But, damned if I don't miss the lower number on the scale even if I felt like shit.... I hope you are able to get back on track with your goals. Try not to be so hard on yourself, especially since things are coming together for you running wise.