Race Report: Mid Tenn Shootout 5K

This race has been on my calendar for a long time. It was billed as being fast, flat, competitive, and there was prize money that went 8 deep. Full disclosure: The Race Director is also a sonofabitch, so, of course I wanted to support him. We may be bitches, but we are supportive bitches.

As you know, my running has been a bit all over the place lately. I haven't done a specified workout in weeks. I haven't done intervals in over a month. I fully expected this race to be a HURTFEST and I expected to run somewhere in the 23:00 range.

I jogged around with the bitches before the race as a warm up and while I didn't feel all that bad, I also didn't feel all that peppy either.

Nevertheless, I lined up at the start with the bitches and hoped that I could hold on with them for most of the race.

Please note: We have just crossed the start line and Melissa Bitch (green shirt, center)

is ALREADY checking her pace.

The bitches took off and left me in their dust. I am probably the slowest starting runner I know. It's kind of ridiculous. But, I held on and let my dwarf sized legs get loosened up and then I started focusing on people to pass. 

I felt good. But, I kept telling myself... it's a 5K... the first mile always feels like I have the legs and body of Svetlana Masterkova. And then the second mile hits and I realize I actually have this body and legs:

I know. I use this pic a lot. 

But the resemblance is uncanny, don't you think?

I came through the first mile in 7:13. Which, I was pretty happy with. I kept moving and kept focusing on not backing off the pace too bad. But when I hit the mile 2 mile marker, I saw that my watch read: 8:07. Wow. I thought to myself. I have REALLY fallen off pace. And I started to pick it up, in an effort to not run another 8 minute mile.

The course was great. It was slightly uphill with a headwind on the way out, which meant that it was slightly downhill with a tailwind on the way to the finish. There wasn't really anyone around me, but up ahead of me, I saw a friend that always runs with The KoB's Tuesday morning group. She was jogging along the side of the course and I kept thinking to myself. OH MY GOD. She is jogging, (she wasn't racing) and I am not going to be able to catch up with her. But, I did, and she told me focus on the guy up ahead of me and I got a little boost from catching up to her. Finally, I could see the 3 mile mark. There was a woman pretty far ahead of me, but I knew she was fast and I really wanted to close the gap on her. I tried. I passed the 3 mile mark and saw that my watch read a 6:39. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Yeah right. BUT, it was at that point, that I knew the markers were effed and that I actually had a chance to PR! I saw The KoB come out on the course and I thought, oh thank god! He's going to pace me in. But he gave me a weird look and just kept running past me. (Apparently, he thought I was throwing him dagger eyes, when they were really... my shocked that I'm running so well eyes. I am a difficult woman to read). 

Clearly, the only tangents I'm good at

are the verbal kind.

I saw the finish line and just tried to run as hard as I possibly could.  I crossed the line with a shiny new 5K PR: 22:42.

 The Run Bitches Post Race.

I PRed, and Melissa and Tanya both took home MONEY!

And Cheryl was there supporting us and

was kind enough to spare us some

righteous schooling by NOT racing that day.

That bitch is in shape right now.

 Somehow I always manage to look like a hobo after races.

And I may have JUST BARELY beaten a bitch 

PUSHING A STROLLER.

But, still, first place, bitches!

I got an age group award, The KoB ran well and got an age group award. Bitches took home some money. And all-in-all it was just a really nice day and a great race. 5K PRs are hard to come by, yo.