Twenty Six Point Two

run, rest, eat, bitch, buy things, cross-train, blog, repeat.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014


Please "Like" Leo on his daycare's facebook page. His daycare is having a Halloween Costume Contest and since I'm not on the Facebook, I'm pleading with my few blog readers to like him. The winner wins 10 free visits!

Leo as a Lobster

A Run Bitches Tragedy

RIP RB Team Shirt

Put it in the washing machine after the relay. Hung it up to dry afterwards and discovered this huge TEAR in it.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Let's Do This!

*Not sponsored by The Home Depot.

Today marks 5 weeks till the beginning of December. I have deemed December 1st the beginning of a marathon training cycle (yup, yup, yup), so, I'm going to spend these next 5 weeks getting my shit together.

Honestly, as much as I've been complaining and whining on the blog and to friends, it's not like I've just been sitting on my ass constantly. I have been running and mostly averaging around 30-35 miles a week. So... that's not a terrible base. It just doesn't feel like much, because I pretty much use ANY excuse to take a day off from running or to cut a run short or to walk. I'm running, but I've lost the discipline and I am hoping to use these next 5 weeks to get the discipline back.

I am hoping to bribe Coach with booze and sweet talk, if necessary to convince her to coach me again starting in December. But, for this little 5 week "refresher" course, I'm kind of excited about trying to draft my own little program. I figure in 5 weeks, I can't fuck too much up on my own.

You're right. Yes I can.

In true Type A, accountant, spreadsheet loving fashion I have drafted a game plan.

Week 1: Own it. 

Yes, Amy, you are out of shape. It sucks, but it happens. I find myself saying "I'm out of shape" about 14 times a day to anyone who will at least feign interest, but, in the back of my head, I still think that I'm going to magically pull out a 5K PR or something. Which is just fucking idiotic. I'm just setting myself up for constant disappointment. So, admitting where I'm truly at and just finally accepting it, I think that I can do the things I need to do to move on. Including, but not limited to:

Stop being so whiny about it.
Stop using it as an excuse for everything.
Stop letting it keep me from enjoying running.
Stop feeling bad about myself because of it.
Stop being so frustrated about it.

So, my focus this week, is to disassociate myself from the runner I was this time last year, and starting owning who I am and where I am RIGHT NOW.

Me on October 27, 2014.
In all my out of shape, flabby, slow glory. 

Unfortunately just SAYING that I'm going to own it, doesn't mean it just automatically happens, but I'm going to really work on it this week. 
Here we go, bitches!

Friday, October 24, 2014

Race Report: Rock N Road Relay Marathon

Bitch Pose.

After placing the previous two years of the relay, The Run Bitches team was pretty goddamn cocky about making it a 3peat. We had amped ourselves up to go under 4 hours and I spent more time than I would like to admit stalking our competitors previous race times on Athlinks. Yahhhhh. I'm kinda sad and pathetic sometimes.
We also sprung to update our Bitches wardrobe with long sleeve tshirts that we could wear while warming up, cooling down, and for general bitch strutting. The shirts:

 The front (minus the box around bitches).
 The back (except in white with purple writing).

Are we fucking obnoxious or WHAT?????

Anyway, things went just fine... except, we didn't break 4 hours and uhhh... we didn't place. BUT, I take at least 75% of the blame for both... because, yeah... STILL NOT IN SHAPE YET. Le sigh.

But, despite the results, we had an absolute blast and we still all ran our asses off.

This is quite possibly the fastest I've ever looked.

Serious handoff.
Nevermind the fact that I dropped the fucking timing
thing about 10 yards later.

This is what happened between legs. 
Also, I dunno who that bitch is standing and SMILING 
for the camera. We don't know you.

Cheryl always gets the short end of the stick and has to run the 
LAST LEG of the race, which means starting running around
11:15. By that time, Coach and I 
have already drank 4 shots of whiskey and about
2 pounds of popcorn.

 But, at least she gets to crank through the finish line.
While we are standing around after already hitting up the
food line AND the beer tent at the finish line. 

Melissa obliterated my old leg.
Oh wait, we're on the same team. 
GOOD JOB, bitch.

Cheryl had ran through the finish line about 25 seconds
before this photo was taken.
And she had already taken a swig of whiskey.
Bitches rule.

As an added Bonus, The KoB ran with the first
3 of us during our whole legs. 

 And the other SOB actually ran the whole race himself.

It was an absolutely gorgeous fall day and even though the bitches left empty handed, it was still a blast and a highlight of the fall racing calendar. I think we have all decided to make this a goal race next year, so watch out, crackwhores... 2015 The Run Bitches are getting back onto that podium.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Bitches Strike Again

The Run Bitches had our annual relay this past weekend.


Every 6 weeks or so, I get absofuckinglutely slammed at work for about 10 days. And while I consider myself REALLY good at time management, I just can't seem to break away from work for more than 15 minutes at a time and I really want to give this post the time it deserves. So, until then...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Race Report: Booby Bolt 5K

Nope, that's not The KoB in a pink skirt.
Nope. It just looks like him.

Here are my observations on this race, in no particular order.
  • Is that really the way you spell Booby?
This is actually a booby.
Which makes sense now,
why there were penguins on the race shirts.
  • Can I just say, that part of me rolls my eyes anytime I see the charities use the words TA-TAs or BOOBIES or BOOBY or whatever? I mean, I get it, it gets more publicity that way, but as an uptight feminist, it kinda makes me feel like we can't even separate a CANCER from sexualization. I know, I'm a fuddy duddy. I'm even kind of embarrassed that it bothers me, but I dunno... you don't see too many SAVE THE JUNK 5Ks or the DICK SHUFFLE 5K or whatever. Okay. I'm done now. I promise.
  • Actually, I'm not. I'm also a little bothered at how these events basically become a spectacle. Like, it's almost a fucking party. I understand that for whatever reason getting to put on a bedazzled bra on top of your clothes and wearing a tutu brings more people out, which means more money and more awareness for your cause. I get that. What I don't get... is... WHY? Breast cancer itself isn't a big enough deal? 
I just don't get it.
  • The course was awesome. Gently rolling hills the entire way. I treated it as a tempo run, because, well, I've never been in 5K racing shape in my entire life. But, as a tempo run, it felt pretty dang good. (Don't get me wrong, I did push it, hard, and still finished in an abysmally slow 25:26). 
  • I won age group award because there were 5 other women in the entire race which consisted of my favorite age group award to date: a coffee mug filled with m&ms. YES. 
  • It was a good day, for a truly terrific cause. Booby or no boobie. Sequins or not. Breast Cancer screening, awareness, and research are extremely important and I appreciate this race making the effort to volunteer for the cause.
  • and I really appreciate the m&ms.


Friday, October 10, 2014

Happy Friday

I was hoping to make some time to do some posting this week, because I've bought some things that I want to review on the blog. Buuuuuuut, somehow it's already October and my October 15th deadline is looming and I've procrastinated so much that I'm pretty much fucked till October 16th. So... enjoy these gifs and have a great weekend!

Monday, October 6, 2014

The Full Truth

Yeah. I'm not in good enough shape to be training at the paces for a PR attempt at the 10 miler. That is a HARD sentence to write.

Last week, I was supposed to do a workout of 200s, 400s, and 800s. The suggested paces by Coach (who, doesn't know what kind of shape I'm in, either) were what one would be running to run a sub 1:19 10 miler. I was pretty terrified by those paces and not in a good, challenging way.

 The KoB is like... YAYY!
and I'm all... get me the fuck off this thing.

There are HARD workouts that push you and teach you to be hard and fast and all that fun stuff and then there are HARD workouts that you can't actually do without dying. To be fair, Coach's paces were always "suggestions." But, to go from years of training with her and always being able to hit my paces FASTER than I was supposed, not even being able to hit them at all, has been pretty fucking tragic.

And if I'm totally honest with myself right now... I'm teetering on the edge of a mental funk (running aside). So, to feel like a failure at running, isn't really helping.

 Gotta get up and keep going...

The KoB suggested that we try the 200s at a slightly slower pace and see how they went. We ended up just doing the 200s (8 of them) and came up with a plan to try and make October the month of the turnaround. I'm going to focus on doing tempo runs around 8:30 and probably some track work that mimics that type of fitness level. Until that all starts to feel too easy and then I'll crank it up.

I emailed Coach and of course she was supportive and awesome because she's not only my Coach, but one of my favorite friends and because... well.. that's just how bitches roll. And, let's be honest... I've put her in an unfair situation here because neither of us know what kind of shape I'm in OR how long it will take me to start gaining fitness. When I gave her a deadline of... early November. It's kind of like.. I can't exactly be pussyfooting around in my training.  Plus... we've gone from her having to tell me to NOT run all the miles to now having to nudge and be like... uhhh.. maybe you should try to hit 35 miles this week.

Oh, I can't use eating popcorn on the couch
as cross-training? Fuck.

All this to say... I'm not going to be documenting training for a 10 mile PR. (You probably saw that coming, anyway). Instead, I'm just going to go back to how I used to blog back in the day, when I wasn't really "training" but just running and yes, I'm going to be running tempo miles, because I do WANT to improve and get back to being in shape.

And I apologize to all 7 of you who read this blog. I know it gets old to continue to go from... HEY I'M TRAINING AND AWESOME to JK, OUTTA SHAPE AND HATE RUNNING to OMG, I'M TRAINING AGAIN, etc. Sometimes running isn't just about running and as a thank you for sticking with me, I offer this totes adorbs puppy gif: