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Thursday, April 2, 2015

Limping Trainwreck

WARNING: GROSS PICTURES IN THIS BLOG POST.

You ever have one of those days/weeks/months where it seems like the universe is just dumping its shit all over you?


That's me this week. It started Saturday evening when while cutting grape tomatoes with a new (read: SHARP AS FUCK) knife and I almost cut the tip of my finger off. 

Public Service Announcement: When your girlfriend has almost cut the tip of her finger off, the most appropriate response is probably not: "Fuck! that's a lot of blood!!"

Then last night, I was steaming some cauliflower, and so, even though I'm 35 and have the money to buy a pot with a matching lid, I'm still rocking a hand me down pot that lost it's lid about 25 years ago. Because, I'm classy, I usually just put a plate over it when I'm steaming something.. Well, I started to pick the plate up, (with a potholder, I'm not an idiot) and the steam burnt the shit out of my thumb. (ok, so, maybe I'm a little bit of an idiot).

ok, so, of course the picture doesn't look all that bad.
But, it's red, swollen, and there's a little white blister
forming to the left of the knuckle.
Also. ew. Hands/fingers gross me out.

And that little fucker hurt like a bitch all night. Still hurts a little, but unfortunately, that pain has been replaced by the fuck-up I had this morning.
So, this morning, I'm walking my dog and there is an empty lot next to my building with some rough and janky concrete. Well, somehow I tripped over a piece of janky concrete and fell really hard straight down on both of my kneecaps. Now, as you know, I fall a lot. This is not a big deal. But, I could barely get up. My left knee was extremely fucked. Finally, fueled by ego and the fear that someone would see me face down on the concrete, I managed to pop back up and try to limp/scurry away. I managed to limp-walk my dog for about a half hour, before the god awful pain just got the best of me. 

 Again, the picture doesn't really do it justice.
Asshole cameraphone.
And never mind the blood, the flesh wounds are no big deal.
What is a big deal is the the right side of my left kneecap is swollen.

And the pain. OMG the pain! I am usually pretty good with dealing with pain. But this is pretty fucking terrible. It hurts when I walk, it hurts when try to bend it, it hurts when I try to straighten it. THE BONE HURTS. When I got to work, I have to go down a flight of stairs to get out of the garage, up a mini flight to get in the building, and then up another flight of stairs to get to my office. I had tears in my eyes from the pain. 


Hopefully, the "bad things happen in 3s" thing is true and I'm now done with all my physical accidents. I feel like I should just stay in bed with pillows all around me. I cannot be trusted with my own safety.


I hope your week is going better...

5 comments:

Carina said...

OMG, I always think of the first half of April as miserable for you, but you're right, it's raining shit. I actually think that pic of your legs looks awful, you can see the swelling and bruising starting already. Ow! I scraped my chin on a wall at boot camp yesterday and it now looks like a monster zit or abscess or something, which is nice because you know, it's my face. Ugh. Hope you're done and you sail smoothly through the rest of the month (and you know, beyond).

Coach Bitch said...

Good God. You know, I went for a run on the horse trail today for the first time since I had that super dramatic fall on my knee over a year ago. And on this very same morning, you had a major knee slam.

Coincidence? OR SOMETHING MORE?

Nikki said...

Ouch x 3! Those are some bad ones, and yes, I'm of the same belief that things happen in 3's...then that better damn well be it lol! To commiserate, I tripped on an uneven piece of concrete while running to work two weeks ago, full out fall, bruising my left knee to ridiculous proportions. At least it's a long weekend so today's really like Friday. Gotta find a silver lining somewhere :)

Amy said...

Carina: Thanks for the well wishes and sympathy.

Coach: SOMETHING MORE. Obvs.

Nikki: ouch! Sorry to hear about your fall! Thanks for the silver lining shout out, unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow... BUT, at least tomorrow's friday. Haha. Enjoy your long weekend!

Meredith said...

That is some seriously bad luck. Hope things start looking up for you soon!