Race Report: Beer Mile 2010

Read Last Year's Race Report Here: 2009 Beer Mile.

If you know me, you know that I don't have a storied athletic past. I was/am mediocre at best at all things that require physical athleticism and/or eye-hand coordination. I just assumed that this was something I'd have to continue to live with for the rest of my life... Sure, I might snag an age group award here or there... but, I'd never be the girl in the overall winner's circle.

That is until last year, when I finally found my inner athlete. All it took was the right sport:

Competitive drinking with running.

So, there it is. Some athletes have to take steroids or human growth hormones to excel in their respective sport. Me? I just have to compete in races that involve chugging beers.

This year, I walked into the 2010 Beer Mile Competition with a little bit of a swagger. I knew that defending my title wouldn't be easy. I was no longer the underdog... but I was also confident in my beer drinking abilities. I did go to a state school, after all (go cocks!). That isn't to say there weren't a few challenges this year. For one, I didn't recognize hardly any of my competition. Either, I was too drunk at the end of the race last year to remember them... or they were entirely new. Regardless... I didn't know what to expect from these other ladies. Some looked fast and some looked like good drinkers. It was very hard for me to handicap the field. Also, the field was MUCH larger this year... less elbow room in the transition area... more people on the course. I wasn't too nervous though. Drinking is my sport, bitches.

The timer started and we started chugging our beers. The rules of the beer mile are easy. The gun goes off, you chug a beer (with at least 5% alcohol), you run .25 of a mile, chug another beer, run another .25 of a mile, chug a beer. Until you've drank 4 beers and ran a full mile.

The first beer didn't go down too easy, but despite that, I still managed to be the second female to finish my beer. Time to start running.

I have to be honest... running after drinking that first beer was not easy. I was not feeling very good, my stomach was trying to stage a revolt on me in this first lap. But, I still managed to make it back to the transition area for my next beer about 15 seconds after the first place girl. I knew this was my moment to catch up with her. I chugged beer #2 like nobody's business. To be honest, I don't think I've ever funneled a beer as fast as I drank that second beer. I seriously think I downed that thing in about 7-10 seconds. By the time I started my second lap, I was feeling a little better... less puke-ish than the first lap. I tried to stick with a fast-ish pace. I knew that the girl behind me would be finished with her beer soon and she'd make up time on the course.

By the time I came into the transition area for my 3rd beer, it was clear that, like last year.. I really had no competition. I downed the 3rd beer and took off on a casual jog. No need to go all out at this point, I figured. 

After that third lap, I was ready for the final beer. I was feeling pretty good, but now I realized it was time to kick it up and PR this year. I took off on my last lap and tried to run faster...

I crossed the finish line in 11:30. 1 full minute faster than last year! And of course... I was the first female to cross the finish line.

That's right. I just set a new female course record. 1 FULL FREAKING MINUTE.

After the race, I had a great time talking to the other runners, basking in the glory of being the 2 time defending champion. When everyone had finished it was time for the award presentation, fully documented in pictures...

Fittingly, the prize was a Nashville Beer Mile Beer Stein.

Ahhh... it is good to be #1. (And Budweiser, if you're reading, I'd be happy to entertain any sponsorship deals might throw my way. Budweiser truly is The King of Beers).

Special thanks to the hosts of the event!!! So awesome of you to do that, Bill! Looking forward to next year when I go for the 3peat.

And thanks to Elly Foster for taking the photos at the event and posting them on her website where I was able to easily steal them instead of only putting them on facebook where I would have never been able to see them or share them with y'all.