Dear Women of Nashville:
Okay, so I've avoided this letter for a really long time. Not because it hasn't needed to be addressed, but because I kept turning a blind eye. I kept thinking that one day, some man would give me reason to assume that this issue isn't entirely limited to the female gender. I mean, I'm proud to be a woman, I support women's rights and high heels and all that crap. But, I feel like it's important to address something for our future safety.
Seriously, women. Learn how to freaking drive.
Initially, I took it personally. Every time you* tried to drive into me when I had the right of way (trust me... I always follow all traffic laws when running, I could die, otherwise) I gave you the finger, the evil eye, the string of curse words. And every time, you either never noticed me, or when you did notice me... you gave me the finger or the evil eye back! Like it was my fault you almost ran me over with your car. And if you did see me, after narrowly missing me, do you ever stop and let me proceed? Hells no. You blaze that piece o' shit car of yours right on through giving no consideration to the sweaty girl that you almost put in wheelchair.
Every single time, it's been a woman. Sure, I've had men start to turn into an intersection where I am lawfully crossing, but they always stop and let me go and and they give me the sheepish "sorry" look. So, what gives, ladies? How can you be so oblivious to your surroundings**?? Especially when you're operating a piece of machinery that could potentially KILL someone.
Look, I know you've got a lot on your mind. We ALL do. Between work, family, and the obsessive but essential analysis of the emailed phrase... "I'm just not looking for a relationship" that the douche you'd been seeing just sent you on your blackberry (I mean... A. what makes him think YOU are? B. and, even if you were, hypothetically, I mean... it's not like you want to get married in the next 3-6 months or anything and C. wonder if that means you're not going out on Saturday night? better leave your schedule open just in case, right?) you've got a lot on your plate. I get it. You're preoccupied (kids in the back screaming), you're multitasking (checking your emails or your hair), you're completely oblivious to everything around you. And do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You could kill someone. For chrissakes, look around before you plow through an intersection, especially when the light's green and you're turning without a green arrow.
I'm sorry to call you out like this. But, we need to take better care of each other and look out for one another.
Thank you for your time and attention to this matter. Hopefully from now on, the only time I'll be yelling obscenities at you and giving you the finger is when you're trying to flirt with my man at the bar.
* To clarify, let me say that I'm not claiming to be a perfect driver. Yes, there was that time I crossed railroad tracks in my Ford Taurus, where there wasn't a railroad crossing (how I was supposed to know you are supposed to only cross them at designated areas?). And yes, I did fly right through a red light the first day of my sophomore year of college and hit a dump truck (hey. i hadn't driven for a year, cut me some slack). But, I always am aware of my surroundings when I'm driving, especially when in the city. I mean, there are runners, walkers, hobos, and cyclists all over the damn place. You gotta be careful.
** How ironic that we typically rail on men for being oblivious to their surroundings... they don't notice when we get our hair cut or wear a new dress, but at least they don't run us over when we're trying to walk across the freaking street.