Still Meh.

Stupidly, I thought that giving up on "training" for a little bit would automatically mean that my motivation to run would come roaring back.

 

Yeah, that hasn't happened. It's not even been a week, AMY. Get real. Except, I am extremely impatient. Which has become even more clear since I've started dating The KoB. He is the most patient person I've ever met. He will literally spend 2 hours working on trying to get a chainsaw to start. Whereas, after 15 seconds, I'm like this...

  Actually, you know what? 

I'm not even patient enough to walk outside.

So, I am constantly expecting things to happen RIGHT AWAY. And when they don't, I get pissy. It's irrational, I know. But, are you new here? That's me.

I'm starting to think it was almost better when I was training, because yeah... I was hating a lot of my runs really hard. BUT, at least I was doing them and had a clear conscience. Now I feel guilty all the damn time. It's like... nothing is wrong with me (my body, that is), I should be running! But, I don't wanna. And isn't that the point of this break?

And then I'm like... OMG, why are you making this into such a big freaking deal. Run or don't run. WHO CARES? But, obviously I care. I think part of the guilt comes from, I feel like I'm actually in pretty decent shape right now, and I hate to just piss it all away because "I just don't feel like running much."

So, I'm trying to view this as an Injury... a mental injury (which, let's face it... this isn't much of a stretch). I'm essentially trying to trick myself into not feeling so guilty about skipping runs or whatever. Just like a legit injury, I'm going to take my running day by day. Will it work? Probably not. But, I'm going to give it whirl.

And since you made it this far reading this pointless mind dump. Here's how Mr. Bloom reacts when I start talking about running:

"I've got two suggestions for you:

Either HTFU or STFU.

Now, can you hand me another pillow?"