Ummm. Best race poster EVER?
After finding out that there is an alpaca farm along the race course, I immediately put the race on my calendar. Because... ALPACAS... OBVIOUSLY.
As the race date grew near, I started to wonder about the actual course and was a little disappointed when I heard about this big ass hill:
At least there's a good downhill. Groan.
But, despite the hilly course, the random race distance, and the 35 minute drive to the race, I stayed firm in my decision about the race because... ALPACAS... OBVIOUSLY.
On Saturday morning I drove out to the race which is located in a little town full of horse farms and rich people. It was a beautiful morning. Cool and bright. I warmed up a little on the race course and to be completely honest, wasn't feeling good about my racing capabilities that morning. But, I lined up in the chute with friends and was like.. well... at least there are ALPACAS on the course.
I'm not going to bore you with a play-by-play of the race, but I do want to mention a few things:
1. Cheryl and I were getting ready to pass a woman very early in the race and she teased us: "This is a no passing zone, ladies." And as we passed her, all I could think about was... "well, if you'd speed the fuck up, I wouldn't have to pass you." Luckily, I didn't say this.
2. At the turn around point, I heard someone at the water stop tell the "no passing zone" lady that she was 3rd female. Ummmm... Whhhhhaaat?
3. After climbing the big hill and recovering from climbing the big hill, I was starting to feel like I was in a groove. By the turn around point, I was picking out people in front of me to pass.
4. I told myself that when I got to the 5K mark I was just going to go ALL OUT the last kilometer.
5. I hit the 5K mark at 23:56 (7:43 pace) and then flipped into overdrive.
6. With about a half mile to go some guy spectator told me I was the 3rd female and I was sure that he was mistaken, but just in case he wasn't, I ran even faster.
Schooling.
7. I saw The KoB who had just finished 2nd overall come out to meet with about a quarter of a mile left and he helped me go into overoveroverdrive.
8. I finished the race in 28:13 (7:35 pace).
9. 3rd overall woman.
10. Clearly, there wasn't much competition... and while it was a little embarrassing that I came in third, I was also pretty freaking excited about it.. because, THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
We were standing around after the race and overheard someone who had just finished saying.. "I NEED ROOM TEMPERATURE WATER." We all kinda looked at each other, like... uhhh... ok.
A few minutes later we realized who that was:
Number 32 in the white sports bra to the left?
Yeah, that's Ashley Judd.
THIS Ashley Judd.
To be fair, she was yelling about the room temperature water to someone with her, not race volunteers. It was still pretty damn funny though. Anyway, she seemed nice and stuck around for the awards, etc. And yes, I schooled that bitch.
We hung around for the awards and because when I'm lucky, I'm REALLY lucky... I won a door prize... ALPACA SOCKS!
A smug KoB picking up his prize.
Umm. The KoB doesn't hold tiny little bags
by their tiny little handles.
Probably the only time in my life I'll win an overall prize and
this is the only photographic evidence I have.
It looks like I'm asking where the bathroom is.
FFS.
After the awards we ran out for a cool down which was really just an excuse to go visit the ALPACAS.
They were just chilling in the barn overhang.
Alpacas near the trees.
So, it was basically the perfect day: I placed overall, The KoB placed overall, I won a door prize, we beat a celebrity, and ALPACAS... OBVIOUSLY.
9 comments:
I love this.
Best race report ever! Totally awesome too how your overall pace dropped all from the last k. Schooled indeed!
Alpaca magic.
Regarding Ashley Judd, have you ever read this? Apparently room temperature water is her thing, and her ego is MASSIVE.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/bloggers/1665919/posts
PS you are my new hero, because you beat Ashley Judd :-) You might like to read the threads about her over on themockdock.com - several of the people posting there know her personally and - big shock - none of them can stand her. Lots of good snark.
BTW I suspect she only stayed around for the awards because she was hoping she had won. She tweeted that she wanted to win the whole thing. Because of course, she's better at everything than mere mortals.
Thanks for the comments, Hannah! I got a good laugh from those links you sent.
And sadly for Ashley... a LOT of people beat her. (She did win an age group award, so...). I found her pretty innocuous, although in general all UK basketball fans are on my hate list.
Amy, I LOVE your writing style. You remind me of Mockarena from The Mock Dock.
Ashley tweeted that she got 2nd place in her age group. She said that was remarkable for a "non-runner." Um, that photo you posted shows she had an extremely low bib number, methinks she trained her a$$ off for this and has every intention of trying to win next year. So, please school her again in 2014. Pity you're not in the same age group :-)
I was inspired by your blog to think about taking up running again! Had never heard of Joe Vigil - his book is out of print and is going for $$$ on amazon - gotta get my hands on it because it sounds like a great training guide.
Good luck in your future races and keep blogging.
PS what does KofB stand for?
Hey Hannah,
THANKS so much... for all that you said. Very nice.
And The KoB stands for King of Beasts.
I did a search for "ashley judd" on the mock dock. Hilarious stuff there.
http://youtu.be/HbPDKHXWlLQ
ahh yissss
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