I usually stay away from addressing current events on this blog. For one, who gives a shit what I have to say, but also, because there are many, many others who are far more eloquent than I am who can say the things I'm feeling much better than I can.
Today, however, I'm moved to talk. So, if you're here looking for snarky, self-absorbed jibber jabber about my running... come back next week.
One of my favorite things about running is it's accessibility as a sport. Can you think of any other sport that as an adult you can compete in and line up next to the professionals? There's always a moment in a marathon where I think about how the winner of the race is doing the exact same thing I'm doing. Granted, they're going much faster, but we're both running our hearts (sometimes our guts) out along the same course. It's an exhilarating thing to think about.
For as much grief as I give my friends (yes, Jeff, I'm talking about you) about the Boston Marathon, it is one of the pinnacles of our sport. Sure, I shrugged off it's importance for a long time (basically because qualifying for it seemed like such a pipe dream back then), but the history and the sacrifices that people make to qualify for it are pretty fucking inspiring and I hope to train hard enough to make it to the start line one of these days.
What happened yesterday filled and continues to fill me with so many emotions. Confusion when I first heard about the explosions. Fear when I realized that people had gotten seriously hurt and that my friends Jeff and Melissa who were running the race hadn't found each other yet. Empathy just thinking about how scary that must have been. To know that your partner is somewhere there, not knowing where they are, how they are, or even what the hell is going on. I mean, just thinking about that now gets me upset. Relief when I found out they were both okay and together. Guilt, because of that relief, when so many others were looking for their loved ones and a lot of them wouldn't have that happy ending.
To be honest, I'm one of those people who takes tragic events and immediately emotionally detaches myself from them. I remember saying to people after the Sandy Hook Tragedy that I felt like a monster because the news didn't really affect me at all. But, I think, it's just my brain taking the reins from my heart and saying... okay, you can't process this in a healthy way, so we're just going to sweep it under the rug and pretend like it isn't real. I realize that probably sounds like the shittiest thing, but it's just who I am.
But the events of yesterday... I'm having a hard time sweeping under the rug. And, it's not that I take it personally because I'm a runner or hell, even because I'm an American. I take it fucking personally as a member of the human race.
To all those affected by the bombings yesterday, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't even imagine the terror, pain, confusion and sadness you must feel.
Sure, people are saying... that if you take into account the entire world population that this isn't that bad, blah, blah, blah (admittedly, this is something that I found myself saying after the Sandy Hook Tragedy) and I get that. Yes, if you're looking for some kind of perspective, then I can see where that would be comforting. But, for christ's sake bombing people is fucked up. And I don't even want to know what the motives were of the fuckwads that did this, because it doesn't matter.
I think the emotion I'm feeling most today is frustration. Frustration that this shit happens. That people can't just go about their own business and live their lives. Hell, you don't even have to be a good person. You can be a total dickhole... you can say what you want about people, make fun of them, steal from them... whatever, dude.... but just don't fucking hurt people. We are all the same, we all have beating hearts, blood pumping through our veins and we are all connected just by living together on this fucked up planet. You have so many rights.... you can protest, you can talk, you can write, but you don't have the right to hurt people. You don't have the right to blow people up.
And the thing is... tragedy builds community like NOTHING else. So, whatever fucked up agenda these scumasses had... is just going to make Boston and America that much stronger and closer. The marathon isn't going to stop happening, the city isn't going to shut down, the country isn't going to turn into a 3rd world country because of those bombs.
So, yeah, what a great statement this makes... you set off bombs on a beautiful day in downtown Boston. You stopped the marathon after 4 hours and 10 minutes and you killed innocent people who were just there to support a group of 25,000+ people who had spent months and years of their lives training for this day. Yeah, good work on being the vilest, most fucked up pieces of shit there are. The one thing I hope is that you realize that you're just like everyone else. You're just like the people you killed and hurt. And I hope you find regret and guilt in your heart and that that shit just eats at you and disgusts you for everyday of your piece of shit life. FUCK YOU.