Grazie Mille

A year of Italian in college and this is like the only thing I know how to say besides "I like orange soda."

YOU GUYS! Thanks. You're the best. I'm not really sure what I expected from telling you about my awful experience at the Pig... but, the nice, thoughtful words and virtual hugs I got really touched me! I mean, hell, most of you bitches don't know me AT ALL. So, thanks for that. I'm sorry that all I have to give to you in return are posts riddled with grammatical errors and cuss words. I'll try harder to be better (no I won't).

There is that little issue of the contest. Ummm... so, I thought I had covered all the possible issues that could arise when I laid it all out, but I guess I forget to have a DNF disclaimer. Oops. And, I don't have a finish time. Also, I kinda feel like you're an asshole if you actually want to win a measly $25 gift certificate from my awful, miserable race. I mean, that money would not have good mojo, right?

So, here's the deal. I'm a woman of my word. So, I used the random number generator to generate a winner. And instead of winning a $25 gift certificate that would have been composed of my broken dreams and tears and shit. You'll tell me what your favorite charity is and I'll donate $25 to them. Does this sound fair? (Realize of course, you will look like a complete douche if you bitch about giving the money to charity).

And the winner is...

Number 13: Andy! Andy, I have no idea who you are, so, if you will email me at 26point2ers@gmail.com I'll get your charity info from you and we'll get this taken care of!

More thank yous...

I also would like to thank Anna at Illusion Nail Spa for telling me the scaly skin on my left pinky toe that has been KILLING me in shoes (and in the first 2 miles of every run and all downhills) is not actually just a dry patch, but a freaking CORN. Who knew?

Related: I'd like to thank Dr. Scholl's. Dude. The corn pads are life changing.

Katie, I've loved your blog for a long time. But, now I love you, too. You guessed the lowest time in the contest and while bless your heart, there was no way I was running a 3:42:07 that day, when I read your comment, I was like... hells YES, this bitch is crazy and it gave me a little extra pump of self-esteem. So thanks for that.

Related: I'd like to thank The KoB for correctly riding that thin line of not picking a ridiculously fast finish time that I could never live up to or an offensively slow finish time that I would probably resent you over for the rest of your life. Well played, my friend. Well played.

I'd like to thank my dad and my brother J for never, ever asking me how a race went, until the one goddamn time that I DNF. Are you kidding me? There are 15 other marathons that you could have asked me about. OR WHAT ABOUT THAT 1:44:40 HALF MARATHON I RAN 2 MONTHS AGO?

Related: I'd like to thank my pacer Steve and my coach, Tanya for keeping me from going suicidal over the race non-finish this weekend. Because you guys helped me meet my main goal of the spring... to PR at the half distance and I rocked that shit. I'll always have Tom King 2012. The perfect day.

Thanks to Marathon Foto for getting the best pictures of me EVER in a race and of course that race just so happens to be the race I DNFed. Thanks for the memories, assholes.

And thanks to all my friends who have been understanding while I brooded and stomped around this week. I know that you all think I'm ignoring you. I'm the type that just kinda crawls into a giant, silent hole when I'm heartbroken. But, I'm good and over it and you're just going to have to deal with the fact that the Pig 2012 is going to be "that race which we never speak of." Thanks for the kind words, emails, texts, offers for drinks (you people REALLY know me) and most of the all the space. Love you guys!