Athens, GA

So, this post has NOTHING to do with running. NOTHING. Absolutely zero. So, if you came here looking to see what race I've floundered in lately, or what crazy ass thing I've signed up for, or just to feel better about yourself and your training by comparing yourself to me... then... stay tuned for next week.

Last weekend was two very important things...
1. My best friend Jeff's 31st birthday (Friday).
2. University of South Carolina's SEC opener (Saturday).

Neither of these things I had ever witnessed personally. (Shitty friend? Shitty Fan? Indeed).

So, last Friday I found myself rolling into Athens, GA ready to celebrate Jeff's birthday and tailgate my ass off. In that order.

The crew all met up in downtown Athens for dinner. And then drinks.

I missed the... COME DECKED OUT IN CAROLINA GEAR memo.

I was the driver. So, I had 1 beer at dinner and then 1 beer afterwards... which meant I wasn't able to partake in my favorite shot...

Irish Car Bombs, bitches!

(Seriously, there had to be a memo... jesus).

After a couple of those and a couple of quickly pounded beers... Birthday Boy was having a grand ole time...

I don't think I'd ever seen him dance. Until then.

Despite our 20 minute drive back to the hotel and despite the fact that we wanted to be at the tailgate at 9am sharp the next morning... the night led us to another place to hook up with some other Carolina friends.

Yes, that's his suitcase he's carrying around and no, we don't know the people in the background laughing at him. Although, please note... they are Carolina fans and they got the memo.

After getting him sufficiently drunk, we made our way through the streets of Athens back to our car, where he yelled GO COCKS over and over and over so obnoxiously loud, that even I was ready for him to pass out in the car. Which, he did. But only after yelling GO COCKS out the window about 15 more times to any person (college student, homeless person, etc) he saw on the street.

The next morning we overslept, scrambled to get the car packed and pick up our tailgating food, but we finally got our spot all set up...

7 people, 2 tents, 3 coolers, 4 pounds of BBQ for 6 meat eaters, and 1 cornhole set. Ummm.. yeah, that's pretty standard.

Our set-up included the crown jewel of our tailgate, The CockMaster 3000:

No, not him. The FLAGPOLE.

The Cockmaster 3000 is kind of a big deal...

Beautiful, eh?

And, an engineering marvel. This is the base of the Cockmaster 3000.

Once everything was set up, it was time to get down to business...

But just as our business was under way... we were interrupted by a fight. Between an older female Carolina fan and a younger (drunker) UGA fan. This was a serious fight and our tailgate was right in between the two. No fisticuffs, but there was an unfortunate chair that got thrown down on the ground multiple times in anger and a shirt that always got ripped off (why do dudes pop their shirts off before a fight?). Finally, after the cops came and left, it seemed like things were well.

So, I jumped in on a game of cornhole...

Ohhh yes, check out that form.

And just as I sinked my first bag and was jumping up and down, I heard a commotion behind me... the UGA guys from the fight were now fighting amongst themselves and one of them threw a hot grill down on the ground... and again, the cops were RIGHT THERE...

See the cop car in the center background and the cops to the top left?

There was a cop car, an SUV cop, a motorcycle cop, AND an ATV cop. Seriously. 

Eventually, the guy that knocked over the grill ended up getting arrested (after initially resisting and then getting throw onto the cop car first and the the ground into submission). Good times.

We went back to the cornhole game...

And back to the tailgating...

After gorging myself on Fritos Scoops (my one true love) and Double Stuffed Golden Oreos (omg), it was time to wallow into the stadium...

Gooooo Cocks!

Our view. Facing the sun and sweating our asses off.

The game was horrible. Seriously... I havent cussed that much during a football game in a LONG time (and that's saying a lot... gamecock fan for the last 13 years and a vandy fan my whole life? Ummm.. I know a thing or two about dropping F bombs during games) (it wasn't helped by the fact that there wasn't a kid anywhere in sight of our seats!).

Also, I purchased a leaky cupped drink, it was literally dripping out of the cup:

(not my hand). By the time I realized it was leaking and not just wet on the bottom of the cup, it was too late to get back into the MASSIVE concession line.

Not sure when this was taken, but I assure you, I was yelling... ##**@!*&!!!

Somehow (sheer luck) we ended up winning the game. But, it was such a disgusting win, that it didn't even really feel like a win. But we stuck around for the alma mater, and to get some pics after the game...

Go Cocks! (whew). That game took 3.7 years off my life.

We got back to the car, chilled for a little while and then it was time to start loading up...

Taking the Cockmaster 3000 down until next year...

But not before having some fun with it...

Obviously.