run, rest, eat, bitch, buy things, cross-train, blog, repeat.

Friday, June 6, 2008

My First Finger...

Dear Motorists Driving around Mid-Town around 6:00am,

Normally, we get along pretty well. I make it a point to obey the traffic signals and only after diligently checking all possibilities do I ever jay-run. Occasionally… one of you will cut me off when I have the walk sign as you’re trying to turn. And most of the time, I don’t let it bother me.

Sometimes though… I give you the ole index finger. That’s right… I emphatically point at the cross-walk sign that gives me the right-of-way to cross the street. I know, it’s a silly gesture, but there’s lots of cars around and I just don’t have the nerve to actually do anything else. Particularly, since you’re in a big metal car and I’m out completely unprotected.

This morning though… one of you got me worked up.

Let me set the scene:

I was cruising up Blakemore… getting ready to cross the intersection of 24th. I had the walk sign (no blinking, mind you, full walk sign). When I stepped off the curb and onto the streets, there were no cars in the lane to turn right(I looked over my shoulder to check) and there were no cars in the process of turning left. I had it made. That is, until the bitch in the blue PT Cruiser decided to turn left. And it wasn’t like she decided to START to turn left and then stop to let me proceed. No, she started to turn, saw me running and continued to turn, making me stop to keep from plowing right into her car (which, now in hindsight, I totally should have done).

Seriously. I had to abruptly stop to keep myself from running into her car.

What. A. Bitch.

It was at this point, that I did something I’ve never done before while running. I gave her the finger. No, not the emphatic index finger. The you arrogant, traffic violating, bitch, that if I weren’t running and you weren’t driving a car, I’d stick my foot up your ass while reading you the section and code of the local traffic law that gives me the freaking right of way middle finger. I guess you could call it an emphatic middle finger. And… as I recall, there were a few expletives that accompanied the finger. I don’t regret my actions. She was not abiding by the law. Nevermind the fact that she could have killed me.

So, this letter is written to the rest of you that witnessed this little… occurrence. I’m sorry if I offended you with my gesture, or my language. But, I was pissed and right. And now that I’ve broken the seal with the middle finger, I can’t promise that I won’t use it again.

So, violate your traffic laws wisely when you see me out running.

And Blue Pt Cruiser lady… I’ll be watching for you. Next time, I’ll kick the shit out of your car.

Have a nice weekend,


April said...

This post is freakin hilarious. I love how you said you were going to kick her car. Classic.

Dana said...

Between rude drivers & inconsiderate young thangs at the gym we definitely had one hell of a week. And I'm totally not offended at all. In fact I think you should have given her the "double middle finger" salute!

swimbikerunnap said...

OH I so feel you on this one! i seriously wonder about people who have complete disregard for pedestrians...

John said...

giving the finger can be therapeutic - and it costs a lot less than a psychiatrist.