Done. Sorta. Random Reflections.

The end of last week marked the end of my super strict vegan, macrobiotic, fruits and veggies only (basically) 30 day diet.

I'd never done anything like this before. Sure, I've dieted and eliminated certain food groups from my diet before, but never something so comprehensive. My diet consisted of as many fruits and veggies as I wanted, a few nuts and seeds, water, and I had brown rice twice and whole wheat bread a couple of times.

I thought it would be really hard. I thought I'd be dying for some cheesy eggs with a big bottle of diet coke. But, I really didn't. I mean, sure I missed cheese and I missed wine and I missed both of those together. But, overall... it wasn't that hard and I think it's because it wasn't much different from how I've been eating anyway.

The one thing I did notice... I think it's helped to begin to break me from the food addiction problems that I have. Over the past few years, its become clear to me that I've had a food addiction since I was a teenager. I didn't acknowledge it for about 10 years and just let myself eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted because I thought food made me feel better, it was how I medicated myself and because of that I gained weight, was a total sloth, and was depressed and miserable. FOR 10 YEARS. 10 years I wasted. Ugh.

Anyway, that's how I got serious into running. I decided to make a change... I changed my diet first.. lost some weight and then decided to get serious about exercising, too. I started running and fell in love and soon running became the enabler for my addiction. Because I was running... I could still eat. In my head, it seemed healthier. And anyway, I was feeling so much better, had so much energy and had shaken all of my depression, that I didn't need to deal with the food addiction, right? No problem.

But for the past couple of years, I've been getting healthier and healthier. Trying to get my body down to my ideal weight, but I still never addressed the addiction.

In a strange way... these past 30 days have really made me see how I can have healthy control over my eating and how food is fuel for your body. Not fuel for your mind/emotions. I feel like I've gotten rid of all the toxins in my body: sugar, caffeine, alcohol and so now, that it's all gone, I don't crave those things. I seriously don't crave brownies or diet cokes or beer. I crave watermelon and cashews. And after I eat those things and give into my cravings, instead of feeling weak, gluttonous, and miserable like I did with the brownies and other things.. I feel great.

I was actually NERVOUS to eat sugar on Sunday at a family dinner. I was afraid that after 30+ days with no sugar that as soon as I had one taste, that I'd revert back to my old ways... that I wouldn't be able to stop, that I'd crave it for days.

But, you know what happened? I got a sore throat. My body actually had a physical reaction to the sugar... and since I've been clean and detoxed, I knew immediately that that's what did it. I could tell that my body was giving me a sign that it doesn't like sugar. So, now I know... my body isn't going to crave sugar, because it makes me sick and my mind will remember that as much as I love sugar, I freaking hate sore throats. So, if I'm going to eat something with sugar in it, it better be DAMN worth it.

So, honestly. This was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Sure, I'll eat dairy and eggs and sugar occasionally now. I'll have wine and alcohol. But, for the most part, I think this is the diet that makes Amy the happiest and healthiest.

So, one part of the 30 day challenge over... now, just have to wait till my 37 days of Hot Yoga are over on Thursday...