run, rest, eat, bitch, buy things, cross-train, blog, repeat.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Letter to Kathy Smith

Dear Kathy,

So, for the past year, I've been a user of your DVD "Time Saver: Lift Weights to LOSE Weight" (catchy title, there, by the way). It's my pansy ass way of actually incorporating strength training into my life... because without instructions... I'm worthless with weights.

It's been going well. I mean, sure I pretty much have your dialogue completely memorized. I know when to anticipate the shrill yelling of the phrase..."how come your bicep is bigger than mine?" (directed at the weirdly mousy, yet muscular dude in the back with the tank top on). I know when to expect your weird sex-like groans... "uhhhhhhhhnnhhhhnnnnh owwww" during our floor chest exercises. Yeah, I've got it all down pat and it works. I know it does, cause when I use it consistently, I in fact DO lose weight and I do tone up (imagine that).

But, I have a confession to make: I've only used your upper body routine.

Let me explain... I'm a runner. I run a lot and while I am a total pansy when it comes to weights and strength, etc... I am a hardcore, tough as nails runner and as such... I'm of the opinion that I don't need no stinkin' swimsuit calendar model telling me how to do some puny ass lower body leg lifts, etc. Please.

But, I'm still recovering from a marathon (yes, I will use this phrase as an excuse for every possible situation that I can) and that means less cardio, and so I'm making sure that I keep with the strength training to amp up some calorie burnage. So, when I got in from my speedwork on Tuesday morning, instead of doing the upper body routine (which I did the morning before), I decided, for shits and giggles, to give your lower body routine a go. I mean... like I said... I'm hardcore. My legs are strong and muscular. My calves are taut and firm and I can crack walnuts between my ass cheeks and bounce quarters off my quadriceps. My lower body is a machine.

So, imagine my surprise, when I woke up this morning to the most excruciating muscle soreness that I've had in AGES. Seriously, I feel like someone has taken a 2x4 and and paddled me with it.... on my ass, on my hamstrings, in between my thighs. At first I was like... DAMN... I really busted it with that speedwork yesterday. And then... then I remembered you.

Well played, Kathy. Well played, indeed.

So, apparently... my lower body isn't quite the machine that I thought it was. So, I'm committing to using this workout more, in order to strengthen my lower body. I'm sure it will likely help my running, too (although, I can say that for a fact it didn't help it today... I was sore as shit during my "easy" run this morning).

In closing, thanks for kicking my ass, Kathy Smith.

Keep on keeping on in that lime green spandex of yours. I'll see you in lower body workout hell in a couple of days...


Amy, a humbled runner.


Danica said...

In the top picture it looks like she's almost going to put the weight down her pants.. :) Glad you are sore, I know the feeling, but hope you get better asap!

J said...

Hey great blog!

I always thought that I didn't need to do lower body lifting until this year. Its amazing what it does for you to make you stronger and faster!

Mrs. Duffy said...

She's totally putting the weight down her pants. And giving us this weird look while she does it. I would have some issues looking at that at five in the morning...

ECrunnergirl said...

She looks so innocent but yet the workout is a killer!
:-| Anyway, it can only do a runner good!! Here's to more ass kicking leg workouts in hell!!!

Anonymous said...

Great post!

My BFF Sharon Mann always kicks my ass.

elizabeth said...

I have a Kathy Smith Yoga tape I used to like quite a bit before I found my new favorite yoga tape. She had some "sex-like" groans on the yoga tape also. I could do without the moans.

This quick weight workout sounds good. I like to feel the soreness from working new muscles. Can you tell me what weight equipment is needed for this tape?

I like your blog. Funny!!! This post and the post about your sweat made me laugh. Thanks!

johnking said...


Amy said...

Hey Elizabeth.. sorry it took me so long to respond to your question. I forgot. Ugh.

Anyway, all you need are a couple of different sets of weights. Because I'm a weakling, I use 8 pound weights and 3 pound weights. But, I'm hoping to bump that up to 10 and 5 in a few weeks.