It's amazing. I couldn't find a video of it to post here, but if you come across it someday-watch it. It will be worth your time, I promise. Enjoy the quotes:
Michael: It is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I’m not superstitious, but, I’m a little stitious.
Michael: Myth - three Americans die every year from rabies. Fact - four Americans every year die from rabies. How many of you know someone that has been afflicted or affected by rabies? Show of hands. One, two, three... too many to count. It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer.
Jim: So what’s your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well, I’m going to start fast. Then I’m going to run fast in the middle. Then I’m going to end fast.
Jim: Why won’t more people do that?
Pam: ‘Cause they’re stupid.
Michael: I’m fast. I’m very fast. I’m like Forrest Gump. Except, I am not an idiot.
Andy: The key is drafting, to eliminate wind resistance.
Michael: That fettuccini is hitting my stomach like a rock.
Michael: Oh, alfredo sauce. I’m getting a stitch.
Andy: I'm petrified of nipple chafing. One it starts, it's a vicious circle. You have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. It's a tough one. Gotta take precautions.
Toby: And the winner is Toby Flenderson!
Kelly: Have a seat. I’ll write it down.
Toby: Where are we?
Kelly: I don’t know. Like five kilometers from the office.
Toby: He couldn’t have made it a circle?
Michael: Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini alfredo, and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts, my heart and well I eventually puked my guts out. I never puked my heart out, and I am very proud of that.