What can happen in 8 weeks?

Remember back in like May and I was all... I'm going to start basebuilding and I'm going to start doing some workouts. I'm going to be hella prepared for the Des Moines Marathon in October!!!!!!!

Me, in May.

And then summer happened and it got humid as fuck and then there were vacations and bottles of wine on friday nights and then a beach trip and now it's fucking mid-August and I've got no base and no speed and no endurance and yet, I'm still planning on doing a Marathon in 8 weeks.

Indeed.

So. Should I drop down to running the half and focus on that? Yeah, I definitely should. That is the smart thing to do. But, am I going to do that? Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm going to push forward and see what the hell I can do in 8 weeks.

This is what my body is saying to my brain right now.

So, please, join me.... here on the blog. Where I will be recapping each of my 8 weeks and what I've done or not done in order to survive a marathon in 8 weeks. Originally, I had thought I'd try to break 4 hours again in that race. Now, I just want to finish the race with my shin bones intact.

I do have some good news to go along with this ridiculous news!!!!!! I have actually been LIFTING!!!! As in... consistently using weights and doing push-ups and shit. I KNOW. I can't believe it, either!!!!! And even crazier, is I'm actually really having fun doing it. 

Another plus... I've been doing really well with cleaning up my diet lately, as well. So, if I can finally put all three together: lifting+running+not just eating popcorn and ice cream for dinner, but salads and stuff = a decent shot at surviving the next 8 weeks, as well as the race.

So, here we go... I'm in the middle of week 1 right now. Stayed tuned for the possible shitshow.

BQ Training Week 5

First of all, just typing that last week was week 5 put me into a panic mode. HOLYFUCKINGSHIT I've only got like 11 weeks left!

THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!

Ummm. Okay. Back to the topic at hand: LAST WEEK.

Last week was a bit of a cut back week, but to my relief, I still got to run over 50 miles. My coach is awesome.

Workouts:
Intervals: 4x1600s at Marathon Pace.
Mid-week long run: 12 miles
Long run: 18 miles with the last 4 cutting down to Marathon Pace.

My interval workout went really well. For one, since it was mile repeats (MY FAVORITE!!), I skipped the track and went to the park instead. Take THAT Belmont Men's Soccer Team! It was nice to do a workout where I wasn't filled with rage and dodging soccer balls the entire time. Extra bonus: I ran into The KoB and his Tuesday morning workout crew and he ran the last two with me. I ran them too fast (of course) and walked around the rest of the day feeling pretty fucking awesome.

Boom bitches. Marathon Pace? Try Half Marathon Pace.

And then my awesomeness turned into a slogfest of regret when I attempted my mid-week 12 miler and I realized, um. yeah. okay, scale it back a bit on those track days, bitch. The KoB got roped into volunteered to run most of that run with me and even though it felt like we were running a decent pace, every mile split was very easy pace. I was disappointed.

I also went into full bitch mode when he routed the course differently than I had expected. I get a little cranky when I think I'm almost done and then someone tells me we have to go to x,y,z to get the mileage. WTF? WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ALMOST DONE. Thankfully, The KoB didn't push me into oncoming traffic like he should have but, uh, he will probably think twice about volunteering to run one of those runs with me again.

Cue: cute puppy gif as penance.

I was psyched about the long run, because the Strider's had a training run planned for Saturday but then rain was predicted and they moved the run to Sunday instead of Saturday.

Yes, I'm trying to see how many gifs I can put into one post.

Spoiler: this is last one, so I guess only 4. 

I had Saturday night plans that involved drinking and eating gluten, so I convinced Steve to meet me for 8 of the miles on Saturday morning. I left my house a little after 6 and ran down to Shelby Bottoms which is surprisingly ONLY 5 miles from my house. Even though, in my head, it seems like it should be at least 8. 

The run went okay, but I just couldn't get my pace down to Marathon Pace. I tried to do it while I was running with Steve, because I knew that the 5 miles home were going to be mostly uphill. But, I just couldn't do it. On the way back I had to re-route because of a goddamn Color Run.

The Happiest 5K on the planet?

Are you shitting me?

Newsflash: 5Ks are supposed to be the devil's race.

They are supposed to fucking hurt like hell 

and you think you're going to die the whole time

and then the goddamn thing is over and you puke at the 

finish line and then eat 2-3 doughnuts. Cause.. Mmm... doughnuts.

THAT'S A 5K.

Okay, see? Cranky, when I have to change my course at the end of a run.

I'm sorry, I think the color run is the most fucking ridiculous thing in the world. You pay $40 to walk/jog through stations that blow colored powder on you? This makes NO SENSE to me. You know how much corn starch and food coloring you can get for $40? Hell, I'll throw colored powder on you for $5 AND let you drink beer while you do it. I am clearly in the minority on this because there were hundreds of people at this "run." Wayyyyy more than any actual 5K I've ever ran. Yes, I am a fuddy duddy and generally just an all around asshole about most things. /rant.

I was pretty disappointed with my run on Saturday. I am frustrated that I just can't seem to nail the marathon pace miles in my long runs. Coach told me... DONT WORRY YOU HAVE 11 WEEKS OF TRAINING LEFT. And The KoB advised that I should make a clear-cut start time for the pace miles in advance instead of just starting the run and being like... ohhhh.. I'll start them at 13 or 14 or ya know.. WHENEVER. Cause Whenever usually turns into UhNever.

Overall, week 5 kinda sucked. But, it's over now and time to roll into week 6. 

P.S. Wow. I just re-read this post and uhh... yeah, it's quite bitchy. But, whatev. We all have those weeks.

By the Numbers

In some ways it feels like September 10, 2012 was just yesterday. And in other ways, it feels like a lifetime ago. But no matter how it feels... it was 23 weeks ago.

23 Weeks of Training.

1208.6 miles. (That's an average of 52.5 miles a week and 7.5 miles a day).

14 Tempo Runs
9 Interval Workouts
5 Races (including a PR in the 10 mile and a PR in the Half and one particularly awful non PR 5K)
3 Hill Workouts
1 post workout crying session
3 19 mile runs:
1  in 60 degrees and rain
1  in 32 degrees and snow
1  in 25 degrees and bone chilling wind

This has been a great training cycle. In the past I've always enjoyed the training the most and always dreaded the actual race. This time around... in a strange way, I'm kinda looking forward to the race.

 And ya know, if it gets too hard, I'll just latch onto The KoB. 
It's okay. He works out.

Anything can happen on race day. ANYTHING. There are all kinds of things that I can't control, but I do know one thing... no matter what happens, I'm going to work my ass off. And we'll see what the day has in store for me.

Birmingham... watch out. The bitches are coming to town.

See you guys next week!

ETA: okay, I wrote this post last night when I was still feeling all confident and awesome and now all the sudden, I'M FREAKING OUT. I HAVE TO RACE A MARATHON ON SUNDAY. RACE A MARATHON!!!! I've never raced a marathon before. Holy hell. Pray for me. (and probably pray for The KoB: he has to ride in a car with me tomorrow for 3 hours).

Fuuuuuuuucccccckkkkity Fuck Fuck Fuck!

NYC Trip and Long Run Report

It's no secret that I love NYC. I mean LOVE IT. It's my favorite city and I was super excited to tag along with The KoB last week for his work trip. He was probably less excited... I mean, between the 2 weeks leading up to the trip and the actual trip with as much as I talked about OMG NYC, I am pretty sure he was OMG SICK-AS-HELL about hearing about NYC. Sorry.

Anyway, it was a short trip, but I still managed to fit in some of my favorite new york things: The Met and dinner at Blossom. I also ended up with a MUCH heavier suitcase on my way home thanks to some unexpected shopping. But, I couldn't help it... there were DEALS everywhere. I'm making a note to travel to NYC this particular weekend every year to shop. Seriously, it was ridiculous.

 That's 2 sweaters, 2 button up shirts, 2 pairs of pants and 2 dresses.

Grand total? $170. BOOM, BITCHES.

(best deal: $128 wool pants for $12!).

I win.

I also got to do something I've never done in NYC: Run in Central Park. I've never really stayed close enough to the park, so I usually run along the river. This time, our hotel was about a mile away. It was a good mix of city running and park running.

Friday morning, The KoB and I got up and met our friend Jeff in the lobby of the hotel at 6:30am to get a run in. It was cold and dark, but it was so fun to run through the park and see daylight start to sprinkle over us. My favorite thing about running in the park so early: The no leash time. There were dogs everywhere and they were hilarious to watch. 

I made the group detour to run by this fountain.

This picture is from 2010.

Saturday morning, I expected the same type of run. We met in the lobby again (this time at 7:30am, thank god) and I expected to get another 7-8 miles in. My long run for the week was supposed to be a 15 miler at a specific pace and I had just planned on doing it at home on Sunday morning. 

After we ran a loop in the park, Jeff asked if I just wanted to go ahead and get my long run done that morning. I didn't really think much about it and I just kinda rattled off a.. "yeah, sure." So, we started the 6 mile loop for a second time. By the time we had passed the reservoir I started to realize that I was supposed to run my long run at a specific pace and I wasn't wearing a watch and had no idea what pace were running.

Also, I realized that it was one of 3 last long runs left before the race and that I hadn't practiced fueling during any of my runs yet. And I couldn't get that thought out of my head... Last 3 long runs. Only 3 long runs left! OMFG there are only 3 more long runs and THIS IS NOW TURNING INTO ONE OF THEM. I started to freak the fuck out. Now, you may think, if you only know me from the blog, that my freak out would entail some sort of screaming and crying and flopping down on the ground and rolling around while I bang my fists on the ground. Surprisingly, that is not the case. My running freak outs mean I get VERY QUIET (very unusual for me) and I start expending a ton of energy in a fierce scowl.

But, what could I do? We were past the point of return. So, I just continued with the scowling and the freaking out and I guess The KoB must have thought that I had died or something with my silence for 2-3 miles straight, because he asked me how I was. And I kinda rattled off that I had realized that I was supposed to be running my long run at a specific pace, blah blah blah, whiny bitch, blah blah.

And by the time we finished, I had ended up with 14 miles (my fault I was a mile short, because I started heading back the hotel as quick as I could. I didn't know what the time was or what the mileage was and I was still hell-bent on getting my 15 miles in the next day on my own) at about the perfect pace.

It's funny how suddenly not feeling in control can totally fuck you up. In the end, it all worked out perfectly. I got my long run done in my favorite city and I'll just practice my fueling on the last long runs. But, in the moment, I was certain that that run in the park was going to be the DEATH of my Marathon goals. I can be such a drama queen, I swear.

Despite the freaking out, I still really enjoyed the run (except for the hills and the headwind that accompanied us on those hills). Running in Central Park was super fun and it was even more fun sharing it with the KoB and our friend Jeff. Good times.

 I scowl when I'm freaking out on a run.

The KoB scowls when he has to pose for a picture.

Week 18

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.
- John Pierpont

Week 17 was all about OMGZ am I peaking too early? During Week 18, I had an epiphany:

Uhhh... Dude... of course you're running really well right now...

 YOU'VE BEEN TRAINING YOUR ASS OFF FOR 17 WEEKS.

Like, am I an idiot or what? It's not called peaking... it's called fitness. HELLO. And right on cue Coach sent me an email with the subject line: "Peaking Fear" (seriously, did I hit the running coach jackpot or what, folks?). The email was about how awesome I've been running (naturally) and about how she thinks I've still got a couple of notches to crank before the race. And between that and the realization that I shouldn't be worried about running so well (duh) I put those peaking fears to rest. I've still got some climbing to do before I hit my Training Peak.

So, now... it's time to worry about something else... PLENTY of things to choose from...
1. GI Issues. Ugh.
2. Fueling. Before and during the race.
3. Weather. Is it ever too early to start worrying about race day weather?

Week 18 was a step-back week. And at the beginning of the week, I was a little frustrated by it. I felt like I was feeling good and just kinda wanted to push onward. But, by the end of the week, I found myself prefacing all kinds of sentences with the phrase... "well, this is my LAST step-back week till the marathon." And, I swear to god it rained like everyday last week, so, it was nice to hear the rain in the morning and roll over and go back to sleep. Good timing, Coach!

The workouts:
Speedy: 6 mile Marathon Pace run
Long: 20 miles
Total: 50ish

The pace run went well. It was a bit fast, but I felt pretty good. It was also on this run that I officially asked The KoB to pace me for the whole race instead of just the last 10 miles. His response? "Thank god, I was afraid I was only going to have 10 miles that day." Seriously. Swoon.  

The long run was interesting. It's amazing to me how fast long runs go when you're running a LOT during the rest of the week. I mean, sure it took me 3 hours and 15 minutes to run 20 miles, but it went by pretty fast. I ran the 11.2 loop (in the pouring rain. At least it was 65 degrees!) and then had my friend Liz join me for the 9 mile add-on to Radnor Lake and back. It helped having her there with me for those last miles until my stomach starting acting up on me a bit.

I ended the week with 48 miles and TWO rest days. Glorious. Back to the grind, folks.

Week 13

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” 

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

If someone would have referenced the above quote to me last week, I probably would have kicked them in the shins. But thankfully, a week later I can see how melodramatic and whack I can be.

Last week was a bitch. Not necessarily running-wise, but just in general. I was on nervous breakdown watch at work. I am still experiencing some network problems that keep me from being able to do any work, which, ummm... Is pretty fucking stressful, y'all.

My running was fairly light on the workout side. I really only had one workout to complete and I was a total fucking mess before it even started. Soooo... Without further adieu here's the week...

Workouts: 

Fast: The tempo run from hell (4 mile progressive with each mile 15 seconds faster than the previous).

Long: 14 miles with some tempo miles in there.

Total: 60+ish

So, yeah, the tempo run was pretty much fucked before I even started it. I did it on Wednesday night and luckily I had The KoB there to run it with me. Initially, I was pretty excited about the run. It was going to give me a chance to see how I felt running at a slightly quicker pace. But, by the time I met up with The KoB and got started with the warm up, the excitement was gone and frankly, after a long couple of days at work, I just kinda felt like dogshit and running a workout was the last thing that I wanted to do. As we got closer to the park, I actually felt myself starting to TEAR up. WTF?

We got started and the first one felt pretty decent, but there was a discrepancy between my gps watch and the landmarks for the one mile loop. The first couple of miles, according to my watch I didn't hit my splits the way I was supposed to and that just sent me into a bit of a tailspin, mentally. Luckily, The KoB was there and wouldn't let me fall apart physically. We finished them and I was totally wrecked. I got home and basically went straight to bed. 

The next day when I logged my workout, Coach came on and left a message about why all the sorrow? That I had hit my splits perfectly. But, it was just one of those days. One of those days where the workout comes hard and leaves you feeling weak and defeated, even if you did exactly what you were supposed to do. Running/training can really fuck you up in the head, yo.

My long run deserves its own post, so stay tuned for that.

The rest of the week went really, really well. I got in two longer midweek runs, two doubles and I still managed a rest day and ended up with over 60 miles for the week. BOOM.

(For once, I actually have an excuse for typos, boring writing, and grammatical errors. Please excuse it all as I type and post this from an airplane on an iPad. Which, btw, holy fucking shit is it hard to put the cursor where you want it. If this were my iPad, it'd be floating down 10,000 feet somewhere over Oklahoma. Instead, I've just injured my index finger from an hour of aggressive tapping. Ugh, technology. Blarg).

Funktown Population: 1

I'm over it. I swear to God, I am. Emotionally and physically... I'm over it. Right? I mean, I'm back to my happy, optimistic self. I don't get teary-eyed or even angry anymore when I think about that day. Honestly, I don't even really think about it. But, as much as it feels like I've moved on... my runs have been total shit lately.

The week after the race, my runs were all great. I was fueled by emotions... some days it was anger or frustration that fueled my run, other days it was sadness and disappointment. But whatever it was... I felt something and it felt good to burn through it on a run.

Enter last week. Last week was the week that reminded me why I stopped "training" for marathons and races in the first place. Because it really, really sucks to not meet your goal (or to not even fucking finish). And now I'm left with feeling nothing about my running. Any confidence that I had from weeks of training, from kick ass speed work, from killing my half marathon PR... has all kinda gone to shit. I'm back to thinking that the marathon isn't my distance and that I just can't race it. That DNF totally dicked me over. Thanks for crushing my dreams and my soul in one fell swoop, bowels!

I realize in the grand scheme of things, this isn't a big deal. It will pass. I'll have some spectacularly awesome run soon (PLEASE, GOD, LET IT BE SOON!) and my runs will start feeling better again. But, my head... that's going to take some serious un-fucking-up in the next few months.

Straight Crazy.

Yesterday morning I completely flipped out.

I had my last real interval workout (10x800s) yesterday morning and all the confidence that I had gained from last week, had left me. It's easy when you're in full-on training mode. The race is off in the distant future, you can feel good about your goal, cause you're actively working towards it. Until you aren't anymore. Until you've done the work and now it's time to test yourself. This shit's getting real now, folks.

I knew that yesterday's workout wasn't that big of a deal. My body is tired and whether I made my splits or not was not going to have an impact on my race next weekend. I knew that, logically. But emotionally, I couldn't help but think about... if you can do 10 of these, you're ready. I showed up for the workout with knots in my stomach and doubts filling my head.

The first 5, my head was just not in the game. My legs felt fine, but I just couldn't relax or shut my brain off. Finally, around the 5th or 6th interval I had a little talk with myself...I was just like, DUDE, chillax. You've been doing these for weeks. It is not that big of a deal. Stop being such a baby and just run. And then of course, by the time I had my head under control, my legs decided to revolt. But, whatever, I can handle tired legs... I can't handle a jacked up head.

When we finished the workout and ran our cool down I felt this huge wave of disappointment. I felt defeated, even though I pretty much nailed the workout (despite all my craziness). WTF? As the morning went on, I couldn't shake it. I was feeling all blue and sulky.

So, I fired off an email to my coach with the subject heading "Therapy Sesh." Now, up until this point, she's only been getting texts and emails from me saying things like... "Killed my race pace run today! Feeling pretty awesome these days."* But yesterday, there was only bitching and moaning and not even cool, funny bitching and moaning, but sad, sappy, pathetic bitching and moaning.

To which she promptly responded with...

Heh heh heh. Taper weeks are the best. THE BEST.

...(Lots of good coach-y and friend-y stuff in here)...

Anyway, don't freak yourself out. Trust your training.

So, that made me feel better and I snuck out for a yoga class at lunch which cleared my head even more and by yesterday afternoon, I was officially over myself. It's just RUNNING for pete's sake! How melodramatic and ridiculous can I possibly be? (Sadly, I already know the answer to that).

Having some perspective now, I think I know what part of the problem is/was. I've never really and truly raced a marathon before. Sure, I've lined up at a marathon with a goal in mind and one that I had trained for, but never like this. I've usually just been delusional with my goals and so when I don't meet them, it was like... Awwww shucks! Shoulda trained harder. Next time!

But this time is different. This time I really, truly can meet my goal. It is possible. And it's not going to be a cakewalk, it's going to be work. Real work. But, it's attainable. I've trained hard and I can do it. And that's what scares me the most...


* No joke, you guys. that is word-for-sickening-word a text that I sent to her. How gross is that?

Race Prep Potential Problem #2

I'm officially in taper mode now. And even though I'm feeling awesome and confident about the race... now that my weekly mileage is decreasing it's time for me to royally freak the eff out and question everything that I have and haven't done during this training cycle (makes for an anxiety-riddled couple of weeks for me, but will likely be a lot of reading material for you. enjoy).

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about my concerns about maintaining a marathon pace and told you about my aversion to pace groups. Now it's time to talk about my other big concern... the weather.

Ummm... I'm pretty sure Accuweather is just shitting me with this.

As of right now May 6th is looking pretty swell (see above. that is the legit weather forecast for marathon day). But, I'm not falling for that bullshit. I'm expecting to wake up on May 6th and see this forecast...

So, what can I do? Well, you're probably thinking... nothing. And, you're probably right. BUT, I do have a couple of ideas up my sleeve.

1. Run a training run in the hottest part of the day.

Okay, so, you probably already know this about me... but I'm a morning runner. I like my streets and trails quiet and unpopulated. I like the darkness and the cooler temps.  All fine and dandy, except it makes me a bit of a pansy. I can't handle the hot, blazing sun, I can't handle people, I get cranky and irritated. It's not pretty. Luckily (for me and not for the 30,000+ people running the Country Music Half and Full Marathon this weekend) it's supposed to get up to 80 degrees on Saturday. So, I'm going to try and run my 10 miler in the middle of the day. (OMFG). I realize that just one run in the heat probably isn't going to really help me acclimate, but I think mentally, it might give me some confidence. Either that or I'll just die.

2. Take a hot yoga class or two.

I haven't been to hot yoga in over a year. But, I think it's time to get my ass over there again for a couple of classes. I really feel like when I was doing hot yoga consistently my sensitivity to the heat was wayyyyy less. So, I think hitting the sweaty studio for a class or two might help me be better prepared in case Mother Nature decides to Bring It on race day.

Ok, two problems down... what else should I worry about?

The Comeback

Well, kinda.

So after a week of dead legs and an awful race execution, I didn't really have high hopes for last week. Particularly since technically, it would be my toughest week of training. But, I kinda nailed it. I had a great interval workout, I had a nice mid-length long run with the last 9 miles at race pace, and I got to sneak over to Percy Warner for a run on the 11.2 mid-week. Doesn't get much better than that in a week. And the kicker? It doesn't really feel like I ran that much this week. Mentally or physically.

Which, is kinda freaking me out. Usually, the last hard week of training I'm dragging ass, contemplating what excuses I'll use come race day, kicking myself for not sticking to my training plan, and just generally feeling like a used up piece of shit. And instead I'm EXCITED about the race in less than 2 weeks. I'm feeling good about my training and I'm already looking forward to starting another training cycle.

I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me. I didn't just drink the kool-aid, I must have snorted it straight from the packet. Anyway... I'm going to ride this high as long as I can...

Look out taper... here I come.

DANGER! not really. well, maybe...

Back in the summer, Carolyn and I were running along our usual route (West End) at our usual time (5:15am) and we came to a bus bench with someone sitting at it.

To be honest, I didn't even really notice that someone was sitting there... because we were deep in conversation about god knows what (probably sex or gossip or both). So, when I heard someone talking nay... screaming at us, I was startled. So startled in fact that I had thought I had misheard them.

"Did that lady just call one of us a mexican whore?" I asked. Ummm.. apparently, I had heard correctly, and she was still yelling obscenities at us as we continued down the sidewalk. At the time, I never thought I'd forget her shrill, loud bark and the verocity with which she screamed. It was like one of us really was a Mexican Whore and not only that.. that we had done something very terrible to her and she was very angry.

Despite being initially alarmed, after we sped up to get away from her, we had a good laugh about it... trying to decide just who in fact she was referring to. (Carolyn, obvs).

And just like that... after a few more miles, I had completely forgotten about the incident. Until a couple of Saturdays ago, I was out running along the same route by myself, at a later time (7:00ish), enjoying the beautiful fall weather and the hustle and bustle of people getting their Vandy Tailgates ready when I heard some familiar screaming coming from across the road.

A couple of blocks away from the first incident, but across the street this time was the same lady. Again, she was at a bus bench screaming at the top of her lungs to me... "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU BITCH." Over and over again.

I'm not going to lie.. it kinda FREAKED me the FREAK out. It's the first time someone ever yelled at me that they were going to kill me and uhhhh... it's a bit unsettling. Granted, I know... she's just yelling crazy obscenities at anyone and everyone she sees. But, I was glad that she was on the opposite side of the street this time...

Makes me a bit wary of bus benches from now on...

Has anyone ever told you that you were a Mexican Whore? Or threatened to kill you? What's the craziest thing someone has yelled at you while running?

The Problem...

So, I've just realized that there's a problem with setting a new goal before your race calendar is clear...

You see, for the past few weeks, I've been going over my training log with a critical eye. And that's good. It's making me realize how much work I'm going to have to do in the upcoming months to achieve my goals... But, ummm.. it's also bad. Because I have to run a marathon on Sunday. And, it's not exactly a cake walk of a course. And if I now know that I was undertrained for the Chicago Marathon... well then.. I'm DEFINITELY undertrained for the Monkey (particularly since I haven't really been running much since Chicago).

Chicago Marathon

The Monkey

So, let's just say that my confidence is completely shot to hell at this point. Back when I originally signed up for this race, I wanted to have a Course PR. Last year I ran a 4:39 (which I was thrilled with) and this year, I'd love to run about the same time... but, I also feel like realistically... it's just not there for me right now.

And... that's okay, right? Because I've got big things coming up and I'm very excited about pushing my body and seeing where it can take me in the upcoming months. So, Sunday is just going to become a fun run in the park.

Hopefully I won't die.

Well, crap.

So, I signed up for a 3 stages race in Chattanooga on June 17-19th. I signed up for many reasons...

1. I LOVE signal mountain and like the idea of getting to run another 20 miles on it, before the Stumpjump 50k in October.
2. I LOVE chattanooga and the races put on by Rock/Creek.
3. My friend Theresa twisted my arm to sign up.. (and then AFTER I signed up, I learned she hadn't signed up, so in the end I had to twist her arm).
4. A chance to get to run 22 miles on Lookout mountain (a little preview for the 50 miler there in December, possibly?).
5. But, mainly I signed up because I'm a delusional dumbass who thinks I'm a MUCH better, stronger runner than I really am.

So... yeah... race fees paid, hotel room booked.. it's all happening folks. And I was feeling pretty chill about it. I mean it's a race in the middle of JUNE in the beautiful, rolling hills of HADES Tenneseee. There will be allowances made for the heat... right? Plus it's 60 miles in 3 days!! They can't expect much from us, right?

And then last week, I found this in my inbox:

Time Cut-Offs:

Since we'd like this to be a "run" and not a walk, we would like to see people running more than 50% of the event each day. This equates to about 16 minutes per mile. So here are the cutoff times each day based on 16min/mile:


Day 1 (Raccoon Mountain) - 18 miles in 5 hours
Day 2 (Lookout Mountain) - 22 miles in 6 hours
Day 3 (Signal Mountain) - 20 miles in 6 hours (we will give a little more time here based on the toughest and last day)


If you feel that you are not able to meet these times, please let me know and I will give you a full refund, or transfer your entry to another Rock/Creek race. We would also like to hear from you if you think this is too generous.

Ummm... SERIOUSLY? W.T.F? You're putting time constraints on me now??? You get my money, the hotel gets my money, plans are made with friends and THEN less than a month away you drop this bombshell on me. Arg!!!!

I'm stressing out about this. There is NOTHING enjoyable about running a race when you've got a sweeper on your ass. Trust me, I just found this out for about 30 minutes back in February.

I didn't know I was going to have race this sonofabitch. So, in effort to stay positive.. let's take this one step at a time and review what I do know...

Day 1: Raccoon Mountain (my least favorite of the three trails). I've ran on this trail twice. I ran the half marathon there in 2009 and the full marathon in 2010. Now, my times were as follows:

Half Marathon: 2:19-- 10:41 pace.
Marathon: 5:41-- 13:03 pace.

Both these races felt awful for me. But... based on those times.. it looks like I should be able to finish the first day without getting swept up by the sweeper.

Yay!

Day 2: Lookout Mountain. Now, I've never ran a race here... I have ran about 10 miles of a trail there (although I'm not sure if I was on part of the trail that the race is on). But.. 22 miles in 6 hours. EEK! That freaks the shit out of me.

Day 3: Signal Mountain. How do I love thee, signal mountain??? Let me count the ways...

Stumpjump 50k in 2010: 9:11-- pace around 17:50.

So, that's a little scary. But, luckily.. I wore my Garmin for that race!!! And looking back at the data it looks like I ran the first 20 miles in 5:35. (Obviously that was on legs that hadn't just ran 40 miles the past two days, so there is that... ugh).

Rivergorge 10.2 miler in 2011-- 2:37.

The was more like a duathlon. Swimming and running. I mean the trails were WET and sloppy.

Anyway, so the point is.. after further research.. I'm not QUITE as scared as I was. It looks doable (on fresh legs and with decent weather, at least).

I'll find out in a couple of weeks, I guess...

Cram it up.

September 2nd. There are two noteworthy things about today. First, it's the start of football season!!!! GO COCKS! (The next 10 hours are the most bliss-filled of the year. The promise is still alive. I can still dream and hope of making it to the SEC Championships in Atlanta, I can still tell people, I'm keeping my calendar open for the first 6 days of January. The moment we step out onto that field and take a damn time out before the first snap of the season the dream dies a little and continues on throughout the season until come December, my boyfriend Woody and I have a standing date every saturday night).

The other noteworthy thing about today's date? It's officially one month from the StumpJump 50k.

holyfreakingshitballs! Um. When did that happen? What happened to June and July? And August??? And what happened to hitting the trails every other weekend and racking up 60 mile weeks? Huh. I coulda swore I still had time for that.

Now, don't get me wrong... I've been consistent. I've been running 5-6 days a week, going to yoga 6-7 days a week. I've been getting my exercise in... but have I been training??? HELLS NO.

So, allow me to introduce you to the next month of life:

SEPTEMBER 2010: The Month of Training Like a Mo-Fo.

Lucky for me, there are two 20 mile group training runs scheduled this month (one this weekend and one on the 19th). But... unlucky for me, it's time for me to get serious about getting some quality miles in for the next 3 weeks or so. I've been LOVING my running schedule lately. I've got fun running partners for everyday of the week... they keep me honest and get me out of bed everyday before 5am. But, I've been lazy and have been slacking on the actual mileage I get on those days.

It's time to cram it up, yo. (Nevermind the fact that I only ran 5 miles this morning. Blech. I can start cramming tomorrow, right?).

The thing is... I know I can run the distance. But, the distance isn't what scares me. What scares me is this:

Am I worried that it's impossible to cram for this type of terrain? Heh.

I'm even making myself a spreadsheet because I'm an accountant, and excel is my bitch for the next month to hang on my fridge because I'm also a bit OCD, and very few things please me more than crossing shit off a list. So, it's time to get serious and get focused.

I may have been slacking a bit all summer... but it's time to take care of some business now.

When Reading Screws You

So, I'm kind of a message board junkie... at least with one message board... my local runner's group Message Board is the crack of my day. Seriously, I'll be sitting at work, waiting for some slow-as-shit program that is on our work server to load on my computer and I'll think to myself... hmmm.. wonder what the chatter is... and I'll pull up the ole Nashville Striders Message Board. And I'll click through the topics... smiling as I read some people's posts, rolling my eyes as I read others... it's fun. And what's even more fun?? Trying to match up the members with their user names when you meet them at runner's events.

Like... ohhh... YOU'RE "runsfartherandfasterthanallofyou?" I always thought that guy would be... younger. Or whatever.

It is a bit disturbing when you meet some of these people though and find out their message board handle. Like... DAMN. I thought you were a guy all this time. (Which is why I have "girl" included in my handle).

Anyway, I'll log on and click away and see what all my Nashville Bitches are up to. It's good. It's all good.

Except yesterday... And, I KNEW that I shouldn't click on the topic... Because, not only am I a local runner message board junkie, I'm also totally a dramatic diva when it comes to running. So, when I saw the topic that talked about not being able to breath in this wretched heat and humidity... I knew that I shouldn't click. I mean, to be honest... the heat hasn't really been bothering me that much (maybe its the fact that I've been spending 90 minutes a day everyday for the past 30 days in a room heated to 105 degrees with 40% humidity stretching, pulling, and sweating my way into crazy ass poses. Literally). Sure, I'm sweating like crazy every morning... and wiping my brow constantly, but I've not been too miserable. Yet.

And then... because there was so little else of interest on the board... I clicked on it and had a typical dramatic diva Amy response:

WHAT? People are having problems breathing in this heat while they run????????? I had no idea! I haven't felt this way!!! What's wrong with me??? I'm a total wuss. I hate the heat... why am I able to breath? I must not really be able to breath, I must just be imagining that I can breath.

And just like that... I went from totally handling the heat (not loving it, but handling it) to utterly dying in the heat this morning. All I could think about was... am I huffing and puffing more than usual? What's wrong with my breath? Oh god... I'm getting weather-induced asthma. Is that even a legitimate condition? It is now. Definitely.

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Just goes to show that my mind is about 85% of my problem. Hopefully I'll forget about my weather-induced asthma tomorrow. And hopefully I'll refrain from clicking on posts that talk about the weather (or heaven forbid: injuries).

Part 2: Running err... Climbing.

So here I was finally "pacing" (or as I liked to call it.. keeping Vandy Montana company and annoying the shit out of him for 17 miles). It had been a long day of waiting around anxiously, and it was finally time to get down to business.

Going into this pacing gig, I had all kinds of preconceived notions: I was going to be the best damn pacer there was. Vandy Montana was going to attempt to throw in the towel and everytime I was going to go all Herb Brooks on him and inspire him to the finish line. He was going to attempt to throw himself off the side of a mountain instead of finishing and I was going to talk him off the ledge. Literally.  I was going to be the pacer that drived him and urged him across the finish line and all the other runners were going to be jealous that I wasn't their pacer.

In reality though, that didn't happen, at all. 

Once we left the aid station, we kind of took it easy. The next 7+ miles to the next aid station were the toughest of the course. And we had no idea what to expect. We knew we would be topping out around 9000 ft, and we were at about 6500 feet at the aid station. I wore my garmin and Vandy Montana asked me to put the elevation setting on the display, so that we could monitor it as we went along.

Eventually we started climbing a bit and I thought... oh shit. Here we go. We got up to about we were hovering around 8,000 feet for awhile and I was looking forward to getting the hard part over with.

And then... we started going down.

And I started to get pissed. In my head I was cussing the race director. What the hell? When are we going to get this freaking mountain over with? You have us go up part of the way, to tease us, only to make us climb BACK down and then BACK up another mountain????? Ass-hole. I kept it cool with Vandy Montana though. That was my strategy for the day, when he asked me how I was doing (which, he did a lot) my response was going to always be upbeat, but not annoyingly so. My usual response was, I'm good. Or I'm okay. Even if I was suffering from acute mountain sickness I wasn't going to led on that I was in any pain or discomfort. I wasn't going to be a problem for Vandy Montana. He had enough problems. 50 of them.

Eventually we got to a clearing and Vandy Montana took a break, laying down. I looked ahead and saw this

Ummm... Okay. And then in the white stuff up there, I saw tiny little dots moving. Must by my imagination, I thought. A guy passed by us and I asked him... ummm... that's not the mountain, right? He told us that indeed it was. And that white stuff?? Yeah, that's snow. And those tiny dots are racers. F@*K.

The next mile or so, we would be climbing that mountain. Straight-UP. No switchbacks, no trails around the mountain, but straight up.

We got back on the trail and started our ascent. I've done some hiking that is straight up and I've ran at 8000-9000 feet of elevation before (at the Madison Marathon in Montana last year), but I've never CLIMBED AT ELEVATION like this before. I was out of breath literally after about 5 steps. We were climbing about 100 feet of elevation every 10 minutes or so. And we stopped to take breaks about every 125 feet.

The breaks were awesome. As soon as I caught my breath, I felt fine and the next few steps up felt wonderful, and then the elevation would zap my breath again and I'd huff and puff until our next break. And once we took a break, it took me a good 2-3 minutes to actually catch my breath.

If I could have cussed and breathed at the same time, trust me, I would have been throwing expletives off that mountain like you wouldn't believe. And then we hit the snow and it was slippery and annoying. I mean, it's bad enough to be struggling with your breath, but now we were struggling with our footing. Luckily, going up the mountain, there wasn't too much of the path that was covered in snow. But enough to be shitty.

Finally, we started approaching the top. We stopped for a minute to take a last little break and I could tell that Vandy Montana was not doing so hot. I had been offering him food everytime we took a break, but he never took it. Finally, he agreed to take a mini cliff bar that I had. I chowed down on some shot blox and before we got ready to tackle the last little bit, we chatted up someone going past us.

Turns out, because of the snow, the top of this mountain, wasn't actually our summit. Oh no, we actually had to climb up another mountain next to it for another 300 feet of elevation. Just a little bonus, ya know. I mean is this a damn race or a freaking mountaineering expedition? Jeez.

At this point, Vandy Montana and I were both pissed. We started to make our way, slowly up to the top of the mountain. We took another break and Vandy Montana ate another cliff bar (a full size one) and admitted to me that he had started feeling light-headed awhile back.

D-U-D-E. You gotta tell me this stuff! I'm your pacer, you gotta let me save you and be awesome! Ugh.

Finally, we got to the flippin top of that piece of shit bonus mountain.

9500 ft. The highest I've ever been

And I was thrilled. Thrilled with the view, thrilled with the fact that the aid station was close by and thrilled with the fact that the hardest part (course-wise) of the race was behind us. 

Vandy Montana taking a break with other runners on the summit.

Self Portrait (duh)

Views.

We started making our way down the mountain and towards the aid station... Only 10ish more miles to go...

I might just die.

Last Friday I flew out of Nashville at 5:25am and arrived in Salt Lake City around 11:30am local time. The plan was to drive down to Provo, grab some lunch and then scope out the start/finish lines of the race and maybe try to drive through some of the mountains that the race course went through.

After a LONG mexican lunch. (Seriously, I LOVED Utah, but the service in the restaurants that we chose was shit-tay. Who goes to a mexican place for lunch and spends an hour and a half there??? Wait, let me rephrase that. Who goes to a mexican place for lunch and DOESNT order margaritas and spends an hour and a half there???).

Now it was time to head down to the park where the start/finish line was. Along the way I couldn't stop staring out the window. Utah is gorgeous, y'all. I mean. SERIOUSLY. Mountains everywhere. I was in complete and utter awe. I had no preconceived ideas of what Utah would look like, but it definitely blew me away.

When we got to the park I cracked up when I saw this...

Yes, folks that is Vandy Montana standing in front of a Root Beer Float Mug. WTF? How awesome is that??

The park was pretty. It had a little creek running through it and Mountains everywhere.

After the park, we decided that we could drive over to the 2nd Aid Station that was going to be at a campground.

It was during this drive that I thanked Vandy-Montana profusely for his 3am drunk dial last November. That phone call, I was beginning to realize, was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. This course was going to be NUTS y'all. And this part was the easy part!!!!!

The type of scenery you want to drive through or hike for 3-4 days through and enjoy? YES. The type of scenery you want to run 50 miles in for a race? Hells NO.

It was at this point in the day that I started thinking about what I was going to say at Vandy Montana's Memorial. I can crush a toast at a wedding or special event, but somehow, I don't think I'd fare so well with a eulogy. I tried to play it cool... casually asking him if his parent's and girlfriend's phone numbers were easily identifiable in his phone. I tried to make him think I was kidding about it. But... I wasn't. I also confirmed with him that he was bequeathing me all his wine. I considered getting it in writing, but thought that that might freak him out a little.

And then, I realized... HOLY SHIT. This isn't even the hardest part. No... the hardest part of the course is yet to be seen and that's the part that I'm pacing for. Why the hell am I worried about him?? He's a beast in the hills and lives in a higher elevation that me. I should be worried about myself, for chrissakes! I made sure to let Vandy Montana know that my parents phone numbers were in my phone listed under their actual names instead of "Mom and Dad." (that's not weird, right?). And tried to forget about my 17 mile death march tomorrow. Afterall... at least it wasn't 50 miles.

We drove to the hotel to settle in. I immediately got all my shit out of my bag and got it ready for the morning.  I wanted to make sure that I hadn't forgotten to pack anything like socks, my handheld water bottle, my sanity. We chilled in the room until it was time to head downstairs to the pasta dinner and the pre-race briefing.

This was the first time either of us had gone to a pre-race pasta dinner. And, it was honestly, a little weird. For one... no one sat at our table with us until every other table was completely full. It was like we had the word "NEWBIE" stamped on our foreheads. One guy sat down, scarfed his food down in 2 minutes and then got up to go stand at the table next to us. Like... we were that awful to sit with, apparently.

The pre-race briefing was just that... brief and the race director didn't answer the one question that we had... how the hell was I going to get to Aid Station #8 to hop in the race with Vandy Montana? The race instructions strongly discouraged driving to it yourself and even if you did, you had to have a 4wheel drive vehicle AND you had to somehow get back there at the end of the day to pick your vehicle up. Logistically... it was a problem.

At the end of the briefing, Vandy Montana raised his hand and asked the question... The race director then said.. "Oh, right! I almost forgot... so, there will be a suburban driving up to Aid Station #8 in the morning, any pacers that want a ride, they'll have 3-4 seats. You can volunteer at the aid station in exchange for a ride."

Perfect! I was excited to volunteer and get a feel for a 50 mile race.

We headed out to find a bar to grab a couple of beers and a grocery store for supplies for the next morning. We didn't stay out too late... The 5am race start was going to be there before we knew it.

Strategies and Goals

I know. Strategy is not a word you ever associate with me. But, for my own sanity I've come up with some strategies and some mini-goals for the Swampstomper 50k on Sunday.

Strategies:
1. Try not to die.
2. Start out at an 11:00/11:30 pace.
3. Try to maintain the 11:00/11:30 pace for as much of the time as possible.
4. Walk up the hills. Run straightaways and downhills.
5. EAT along the course of the race. I'm taking a cliff bar, a snickers bar, shot blox, dried cherries (lord willing that I actually locate a store in the Memphis area that actually carries them, since Nashville seems to be all out). Also, stock up on food at the aid stations. When my concentration wanes, my legs get tired and I'm more apt to fall.
6. DRINK along the course. I'm either going to buy a handheld bottle this weekend or just wear my fuel belt. I havent decided yet. I like wearing the fuel belt cause of the extra storage, so I might opt for that.
7. Have fun. Enjoy the nature and the solititude and all that other shit.
8. DON'T daydream too much. Daydreaming=Falling.
9. Even though the weather doesn't warrant it, I'm going to wear some leggings for protection (my hole-filled ones, with duct tape. Thanks for the tape suggestion, John! This way... if I tear more holes, no biggie. Plus, maybe it will make me look more hardcore at the start. Actually... it will probably just make me look poor).

Goals:
1. To finish.
2. To not even SEE the sweeper.
3. To finish under 7 hours*.

See ya on Monday!

* So, here's how I came up with 7 hours. First of all, let me note that the male and female winning times for this race last year were 4:42 and 4:50, respectively. (Yes, that sounds slow to me, which FREAKED me out, but I'm hoping that maybe it's just not a competitive race... please, don't let it because cause its super freaking hard). My time for the Monkey Marathon was just shy of 5 hours and I walked like the last 10 miles of that freaking thing. I ran the Madison Marathon in 5:20ish and I walked a good portion of that race, too. So, taking the trail factor into account, I think I should be able to finish under 7 hours.

Elevation Profile for the 25k race. The 50k is two loops. Why do people always say that Memphis is flat? Liars.

Let the freak out begin...

Well... it's finally here. I'll be attempting my first Ultra Marathon on Sunday morning.

I'll be honest with you... I'm actually, finally REALLY excited. This has the possibility to be one of the most challenging, life influencing, awesome things I'll ever do in my life. But, it also has the possibility to be one of the worst, hardest, painful things I'll ever do in my life. And... in all likelihood it will be a mash-up of the two.

All week I've been out of sorts. I've been moody, hungry like you wouldn't believe, tired and as much as I've tried to push the stress of the race out of my head... it's rearing it's ugly head in every possible facet of my life. I almost ripped my friend Jeff's head off last night on the phone when he suggested (for the 15th time, no less) that "maybe I shouldn't be focusing on losing weight, maybe I should be focusing on toning up" (yes, this said from a guy who's never had to even contemplate weight loss). Obviously I'm focusing on toning up! Every damn day! But, I can't just do that! I have to actually diet and do some cardio to get the fat OFF of the muscles! I gritted my teeth and sat in silence for about 2 full minutes instead of going into a full- on expletive filled rant.

It was after that conversation, that I walked into Target looking for 3 things for this weekend:
1. Leggings. (I noticed Target had some cold weather compression leggings for 25 bucks a few weeks ago and I anticipate falls this weekend on the trail, so I didn't want to risk tearing another pair of UnderArmour Leggings).
2. Dried Cherries. (I've trained using Dried Cherries during long runs before and I like them a lot, so I wanted to pick up some to carry along with my shotblox).
3. New Vampire Weekend CD- (for the drive to Memphis on Friday. My Kings of Leon addiction is seriously at the intervention stage).

Did I walk out of Target with any of those things?

Nope.

No medium sized leggings. Out of dried cherries and no Vampire Weekend cds (although the store on the other side of town has 3 copies left). UGH.

I was pissed. I fought rush hour traffic to drive to a Target to come away empty-handed. As I drove home in a rage I started thinking about why I was so edgy. Hormonal? Probably. But I think I'm stressed... it's all the tell-tale signs of Stressed Amy: Snacky, Bitchy, and Lazy. It's not pretty folks. Not pretty at all.

I decided to try and ease my stress by thinking logically through the situation. Sure... I'm scared about the race on Sunday. I've never ran more than 26.2 miles before. I've never ran more than 13.1 miles on trails before. I have a tendency to fall. A lot.  I don't feel like I'm properly trained. I have all these fears and doubts in my head. Can I do it? Will I make it? Should I just switch to the 25k and focus on a 50k some other time? Will I be able to make the cut-offs? Will I sprain an ankle or chip a tooth? But, honestly... shouldn't I have all these concerns about any race? And no matter how well trained I was, wouldn't I be scared that I wasn't properly trained enough for my first 50k? It's only natural to be a little afraid of the unknown.

So, I'm making a conscious effort to drop the negativity. If this were easy... frankly, I wouldn't be doing it. I keep thinking back to this summer... running back-to-back marathons in one weekend. That second marathon, The Madison Marathon, was the hardest race I've ever ran. But, it was also the most life changing. It was grueling: the altitude, the hills, the solitude, the fact that I had just ran another marathon 24 hours earlier (although, surprisingly that didnt seem to affect me all that much). I learned so much about myself during that race and finishing that race was the proudest I've ever been of myself. Sure... it was just another marathon. But the circumstances surrounding the race made it so much more.

This race has the potential to rival that experience and that is something to get excited about. With great challenges, comes great rewards, right?

Or ya know... it could just totally suck ass. Either way... I paid my $30 bucks and I'm going to give it a go.